If anyone has a spare medal lying around, would they mind posting it to Debbie Rowe? That woman is a hero.
Why? Because she’s achieved the impossible. Debbie Rowe has taken the already-complex Michael Jackson custody case and made it so astoundingly convoluted that it’d literally take an army of rocket scientists 4,000 years to properly understand it. Although it’s widely expected that she’ll fight for custody of Michael Jackson’s kids, some emails suggest that Debbie Rowe absolutely doesn’t want anything to do with them.
Still, she’s making children feel vulnerable and scared – and that’s what Michael Jackson would have wanted.
Looking at the impending custody brawl over Michael Jackson’s children, it’s hard not to feel a little bit sorry for the kids. It doesn’t matter what the outcome is – their lives are bound to end up worse no matter who gets them. And bear in mind that they grew up living in a spooky dilapidated abandoned fairground with a terrifying ghoul-faced drug addict who enjoyed dangling them from high-rise balconies, so that’s really saying something.
At the moment the kids are being cared for by Michael Jackson’s parents, which would be fine were it not for their demented insistence on forcing the children to become an all-singing, all-dancing revue act. And then, if Michael Jackson gets his way from beyond the grave, the children might end up with Diana Ross – which, again, would be fine were it not for the fact that a) she’s Diana Ross and b) that literally makes no sense whatsoever.
But still, hope is on the horizon, because Debbie Rowe is here, and she looks as if she’s about to throw her hat into the ring. Yes, she might have once given up her right to ever see or speak to the children again in exchange for a big pile of money. And, yes, there’s a particularly strong chance that she isn’t even the biological mother of any of them. But Debbie Rowe loves the children and wants to raise them as best she can in a safe and secure environment. Isn’t that right, New York Daily News?
“Do I want the kids? Hell no! Does it look good for me to ask for them? Absolutely,” [Debbie Rowe] wrote July 5 to friend Rebecca White, ExtraTV.com reported. “I don’t want to look like the woman who gave away her kids.”
Wise move, Debbie Rowe – nobody wants to look like the woman who gave away her kids. It’s much, much better to look like the woman who ended up caring for a bunch of children she has absolutely no interest in whatsoever, and doesn’t even seem to like very much, just because she didn’t want to look like the woman who gave away her kids. You’ve picked the rational choice, Debbie. Anyone in your position would do the same thing.
But let’s not count our chickens straight away – the custody battle has only just begun, so nobody has any idea who the children will end up with. And Uri Geller‘s been keeping a suspiciously low profile of late, hasn’t he?