Before you flip your lid, no, Lil Xan, who is apparently a rapper, is not having a child with Noah Cyrus. This just happens to be my favorite picture of Lil Xan. Whic is really saying something.
Lil Xan (proper name Little Xanax) and his girlfriend Annie took to Instagram to announce that they were too wasted on Opioids to use a condom, and now they’re bringing a baby into the world.
I don’t know anything about Lil Xan other than that he dated Miley Cyrus’s little sister, and he’s one of those dumbass child rappers who has a Lil in front of his name and a fuck ton of dumb face tattoos.
What is with these stupid face tattoos??? Post Malone has “Always Tired” TATTOOED under his eyes. Post Malone is a 20-something millionaire with no kids. Post Malone does not know what it fucking means to be ALWAYS tired. I would like to see one of these kids lead my life. Then they’d have a reason to tattoo stupid shit on their weird-looking faces. UGH.
Anyway, I feel super bad for this baby. Both of their parents have face tattoos and at the very least look like they’re really into sedatives, so this already smells like a poor man’s Kurt and Courtney type situation.
I am praying for the spawn of Lil Xan, and I hope to never blog about him again.