When YOU think of Jennifer Lopez, all you see is a massive, ridiculously engorged bottom.
This is because you are a pervert.
When WE think of Jennifer Lopez, we see an angelic figure promoting world harmony, a Churchillian presence preaching peace between nations, and a colossus bestriding the world's political hotspots like some kind of gargantuan Henry Kissinger. And then, admittedly, a ginormous arse.
Well, we're right and you're wrong, because Jennifer Lopez has just cancelled ? for political reasons – a planned gig in the part of Cyprus illegally occupied by Turkish forces since 1974. But don't fret: we hear that North Cyprus has booked Susan Boyle as a replacement to come in and shake her sexy booty for the citizens. Huzzah!
Here?s the background: Jennifer Lopez, the international agent of peace and celebrated shaker of trunkjunk, had agreed to a $3 million contract to sing her songs and fling her buttcheeks around the stage at the opening of a new luxury hotel in Northern Cyprus this month.
However ? and we have no idea how this escaped the attention of the American Ambassador For Astronomical Asses – it turns out that Northern Cyprus is a bit of a political hotspot. The place was invaded by Turks in 1974 and rather than bringing that country?s traditional gift of delight, they actually turned up with guns, grenades and a desire to stay here for quite some time, thanks very much.
A Facebook campaign was ? with terrifying inevitability ? launched, and pretty soon Jennifer Lopez?s publicity people decided to cancel her appearance within the disputed land. Her PR folk chirped:
?Jennifer Lopez would never knowingly support any state, country, institution or regime that was associated with any form of human rights abuse.?
Well good for you, Jennifer Lopez. Though of course, it does mean an end to your lucrative tours of the USA. What's that? Why?
Er, Jennifer Lopez, have you not heard about the USA?s stockpiling of nuclear weapons? About its invasion of foreign countries which pose no realistic threat to their own? About its sequestering of suspected POWs in conditions which would shame an Alabama puppy farm? About the very bedrock document of its country declaring that black people are less than human? Oh, you have heard all that, Jennifer Lopez? But you believe that the USA is infallible, and that only foreigns can be genuinely bad people?
Fair play then, love. You get out there and shake that bootay all across your glorious nation, you flirtatious advocate for international accord, you.
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Karla says
You missed a lot more things there about the US…
stella says
Then she shouldn’t tour great Britain either. after all the empire invaded Africa and massacred the Zulu tribes, occupied India, china, Indonesia, etc, exterminated native Americans before the us was created, conquered Australia (i don’t remember aborigines inviting English gentlemen there), etc, etc, etc. by the same token, she shouldn’t tour anywhere on this planet.
Or you just see the mote in someone else’s eye?
Eddie Feridun says
Dear Paul Gibson
Jennifer Lopez Gets Political, Withdraws From Northern Cyprus
Cyprus has been split into the Greek Cypriot controlled south and the Turkish Cypriot administered north following continued tension and violence between the two communities which led to Turkey’s intervention in 1974 after an attempted Greek Cypriot coup aimed at uniting Cyprus with Greece.
Although peace has been sustained on the island since, Turkish Cypriots have continued to suffer under economic, political and social embargoes, despite having voted to accept a UN brokered unification Plan in 2004. In response, the international community pledged to reward the Turkish Cypriots’ positive vote by ending their isolation. Turkish Cypriots are still waiting.
Yours faithfully,
Eddie Feridun says
I am writing to you to express my deep sadness and dissatisfaction on how the Turkish Cypriots have been sucked into this dirty Greek properganda war. The fact that a continued injustice is being applied to Turkish Cypriots, both at home and abroad, on every level
F. Genas says
It is obvious that Jennifer Lopez
F. Genas says
Dear Feridun,
If you come from Cyprus, like me, there is a big chance that you, or your parents, are displaced like about 1/3 of the Greeks of Cyprus. And if you are, the displacement was done by your
Gee says
Jennifer Lopez and her team do not have a clue! They have not even thought to acknowledge or learn the truth about the reality of the politics! Quickly brainwashed just like all the greeks of today! Pathetic, narrow minded fools! Its funny how other famous americans flock to Turkey all the time! I suppose what america did to Iran was not abusing human rights where thousands of innocent people were killed!
MY MESSAGE TO YOU JENNIFER LOPEZ – YOU MIGHT BE A STAR BUT YOU HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE ABOUT GENERAL POLITICS AND YOU HAVE CHANGED HUNDREADS OF THOUSANDS OPINOUNS ABOUT YOU OF YOU FOR SURE! IGNORANT!
F. Genas says
Dear Stella, read my comments to Feridun
ozzy says
you talking lots of bullshit mate this land belong turkish as well as greeks so turkish has a say as well so what is not legal !!!!!
charlie says
Turkey has no right in cyprus you ignorant cunt.
The Ottoman rule does not mean you have a right to illegaly occupy land, you dumb fucking cunt.
Murat says
I’ve read both your messages and i can’t believe you people still calling this an invasion by Turkey, while you admit that people in Greece are still in prison because of the Junta. Also it sounds ridiculous when you say it’s only Greek Cypriots hurt/affected by the events and intervention of Turkey. The reason Turkey “HAD TO” intervene was to fullfil her obligations as a Guarantor for the Turkish Cypriots (SINCE YOUR JUNTA LEADERS WHO ARE STILL IN JAIL DECIDED TO GO ON AND KILL TURKISH CYRIOTS N ORDER TO UNIFY THE ISLAND WITH GREECE). We’re not crazy about Cyprus which is a burden on my country economically.
Also i would like to point out the support Republic of Cyprus has given to terrorism directly by issuing a passport for PKK leader Abdullah Ocalan (Kurdish Terrorists, branded by EU, US and the UN as well as NATO respectively) under the name of “Lazaros Mavros” in the early 90s while he was still on the run from the Turkish Government. This conflict has also cost us around