The leaked naked Rihanna photos, then. Someone must have leaked them. But who? What’s that? Chris Brown did? Oh, alright then.
Hang on a minute. Chris Brown didn’t leak the naked Rihanna photos? Who said that? Chris Brown said that? Oh, then it must be true. Anyway, despite rumours Chris Brown has denied leaking the naked pictures of Rihanna onto the internet. And you know what? We believe him.
Chris Brown can’t have leaked the Rihanna photos because the only thing he leaks is evil. And saliva out of his mouth because of his impractically large teeth. But mainly evil.
If you were Chris Brown at the moment, and a) the world hated you because you allegedly beat Rihanna up while threatening to kill her, and then b) Rihanna broke your heart by publicly dumping you, then you’d be a bit peeved, wouldn’t you?
There are plenty of ways of getting over it, though. Chris Brown could throw himself into porking more old ladies if he wanted, for instance. Or he could try and get his body prison-fit just in case he’s found guilty of that thing he’s already apologised for once. Or there’s option three – deliberately releasing a set of naked Rihanna photos onto the internet to teach that bitch a lesson. Another lesson. Allegedly.
Except, no, the third option absolutely didn’t happen. Although some bloggers immediately pointed the finger at Chris Brown when the naked photos of Rihanna were leaked, Chris Brown is absolutely adamant that he didn’t leak anything. And frankly we’re going to agree with whatever he says, because everyone know what you’ll end up looking like if you cross him. Allegedly. Anyway, MTV reports:
After blogger Perez Hilton suggested that Brown “must be responsible” for leaking the pics, a spokesperson for the singer denied the charge late Sunday. “Rumors that images circulating on the web which purport to be provocative photos of Rihanna were ‘leaked’ by Chris Brown are both false and defamatory,” read a statement from a spokesperson for Brown’s label, Jive.
So if Chris Brown didn’t leak the naked Rihanna photos, then who did? Well, putting on our detective hats for a moment, we notice that one of the photos shows a woman who looks like Rihanna standing by a mirror with ‘I love you’ written on it in lipstick. Therefore, by working out who Rihanna loves, we’ll get to the bottom of the leak in no time. So who does Rihanna love? Here’s our preliminary list:
1 – Chris Brown
2 – Shia LaBeouf
3 – Wilmer Valderrama
4 – Josh Hartnett
5 – One or both of Rihanna’s parents
6 – Every single pop video made by Grace Jones throughout the 1980s
7 – New Easy Breezy Covergirl Wetslick Fruit Spritzers
8 – Herself
We’re onto you, leakers. We’re onto you bad.
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Courtney says
Another reason why Perez Hilton should be banished back into the hole he crawled out of.
SS724 says
THIS ARTICLE WAS IGNORANT TO SAY THE LEAST…
Lynn says
It does not matter who leaked them. If the pictures are really of her and she did not want them posted on the World Wide Web, she should have not taken them. Teenagers and grown women need to realize that pictures like this always get out. It does not matter if you take them for yourself, a boyfriend, a fianc
me says
THAT WAS SO DUMB…..The whole word dnt even hate him…that sucks that the lyin ass media and the lyin ass magazines and everybody else wants us 2…but…thats jus impossible. and i cant wait till this shit is over bkuz nw its jus old and over..AND I LIKE HIS BIG TEETH!!!!!!!!!!! U damn haters!
Sunny says
It how it is. Man, you put yourself up nekkid on-line and man peeps will find you hahaha. It’s life as we know it in this Big Real. Idiots at large like some sort of manic flashing jungle.
That said, Chris Brown is a completely disgusting bit of teeny big teef manhood who will get all that he has coming to him and well, won’t that be nice.
Shooty* says
Why oh why do stupid people keep abusing the word “ignorant”? Is it coz Michael Jackson used it once to describe people who accused him of being a creepy paedo?
Busta Rhymes won’t sign an autograph for your fat ass? Oh, he must be ignorant. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzdVSmcgV18
Coffee from McDonalds too hot? Oh, they must be ignorant.
Weather not right? Oh, it must be ignorant.
You, SS742, are a cretin. Go look it up.
Anyway, I don’t think these titty pictures of Rhianna exist. I can’t find ’em anywhere. (yeah, working from home today)
Shooty* says
Oh… nevermind… found ’em.
Arf says
That reminds me – I must renew my subscription to ‘Lyin Ass Magazine Monthly: The essential periodical for fans of mendacious anuses’
shantia says
gurl i fill u and anit that some goddam shit
khalia says
anit this some bullshit i cant belive that bitch would put his nasty dick hands on her rihanna gurl i hope u ok and that bitch who hit u he should had life and then he will regret wat his ass did this man who keeped beating on me one day i got so mad i toke a hevey ass phone book and hit his head so hard and i was cooking gurl i copy off madea and poored that hot water with nodols and i dint hit him with the pan a kick him i ushed all the things on my body and that fool never put his hands on me gurl he bought me a new bmw drop top gurl he paying the bills and car note next time he hit u do wat madea did and did i tell u if u do it it might not be light skin this year!!!!
mizz kk 4 all u hatters