Boy George once sang "war is stupid and people are stupid." But neither of those things are as stupid as having to spend five hot summer days traipsing around New York picking up litter, as Boy George is about to discover.
Boy George's interminable drugs palaver is almost finally at an end, with a New York City sanitation department spokesman not only confirming that Boy George will be spending five days this month picking up trash on the city's streets, but confirming it with such unabashed glee that it's all we can do to stop ourselves swimming to New York right now to go rubbish-picking ourselves.
If your name is George and you were famous in the 1980s, you should really just stay in for the remainder of summer 2006 – it's cursed for you. First George Michael fumbles in a bush with a man and then gets so embarrassed about it that he threatens to sue everyone in the world. And now the other famous 1980s George, Boy George, has been ordered to spend five days in the middle of the hottest month of the year plodding around New York picking up all kinds of rubbish.
This has all come about because of the incident that took place back last October, when Boy George called the police to his apartment over an alleged burglary, only for the police to find bags and bags of cocaine laying around near his computer and arrest him instead. After Boy George's court case was held up – possibly because Boy George was busy colouring the bottom of his jaw black to make him look a bit less like Harry Redknapp – Boy George finally took the stand to "fight them all the way," as one of Boy George's legal slaves put it.
What he meant by "fight them all the way," was actually "cave in and accept the first sniff of a plea bargain he gets so long as he avoids the slammer," since that's what actually happened. In the end, Boy George was given a slap on the wrists and a five-day community service order. Which Boy George didn't bother with until a judge threatened to imprison him again for being so cheeky.
And now, finally, from August 14 Boy George will start his community service – by picking up a load of old crap on the streets of New York, most likely Chinatown, Little Italy, Nolita or parts of the Lower East Side. New York sanitation department spokesman Vito Turso told the New York Daily News just how happy he was about Boy George's order:
"This is the epitome of community service. It's not like he's going to be working in an air-conditioned office."
As if you need telling to scour the streets of New York and send us photos of Boy George picking up rubbish in two weeks time.
Read more:
Boy George To Pick Up Trash In Aug. Heat – ABC
[story by Stuart Heritage]