Things haven’t always gone swimmingly for Boy George. There was a time he was riding a crest of popularity that Zeus himself would have traded away his entire mountain for.
Granted, Zeus would probably opt for a little less skipping and frolicking along the way, and he probably would have bagged a lot of groupies too, creating even more Greek God/man hybrids. But we’ll not get too deep into that, as our mail-room’s mythology & morality debate from last time has only just now ground to a halt.
Eighties fame was never given to the once-mighty Zeus. Instead, the universe saw fit to bestow it upon Boy George, who was indeed a boy – as some of us were shocked to find out in a fifth-grade gym class, surrounded by dozens of giggling finger-pointers mere hours before frantically running home and replacing his poster with one of a feather-haired Debbie Gibson. From her spot on the wall, she always seemed to be staring lovingly at our sock drawer – which is where we’d always kept our money up ’til then. Posters can tell you lots about the people they portray.
That embarrassing gym class scenario never happened to hecklerspray though, as we always found Boy George to be ugly and gross, even before our Dad excitedly helped us tear down the life-size poster of him and then burn it with charcoal, and then gasoline, and then several sticks of TNT, and then slip the remains into the coffin of our dear Aunt Mabel, who for some reason was then buried far away from the family plot – rest her soul.
But in getting back to the prime subject matter – Boy George escapes prison!
Remember when Boy George (CDs) called the police to his house so he could
report a burglary that he knew never happened? Remember how the police
weren’t there on a search warrant, so wherever George left the cocaine,
it must have been out in the open for the cops to easily find, even
though he knew they were coming? Remember Karma Chameleon? Our first girlfriend thought it to be wispy and fun.
George maintains his innocence in the cocaine matter, if he’d been
found guilty on the drug charges he could have spent around five years
in prison. Boy George – real name George O’Dowd – pleaded
guilty on Wednesday to falsely reporting a burglary. This allowed the
drug charges to be dropped. He’s been sentenced to five days of
community service and drug rehabilitation.
The New York Judge had this to say to Boy George when he
made his plea:
"You are admitting to me the following … you called
the police, you summoned them to your apartment by dialling 911 and
reported that your apartment had been burglarised when in fact you knew
your apartment had not been burglarised."
A less tense Boy George later had this to say about his legal
good-fortune:
"I am relieved and happy that this case has been disposed
of. I love New York and I’m looking forward to coming back and working
in the States later this year."
That’s it kids. Another celebrity released back into the population
to be free to not recover from any addictions, steal cars, and never
make love to his drummer again. Don’t worry though, Boy George’ll probably
be back. Next time it’ll be for calling 911 to let the
arriving paramedics know he feels robust and healthy, to let volunteer
firemen know his entire apartment is completely safe and flame
retardant, or to let the cops know his probable coke dealer gave him
back too much change. He’ll be back.
Read more:
BOY, GEORGE DODGES PRISON – New York Post
[story by Shawn Lindseth]