Bobby Brown is famous for roughly three things – being in New Edition, singing the theme-tune to Ghostbusters II and pulling dried up turds out of Whitney Houston's arse with his bare fingers.
Now, the Ghostbusters excitement has dried up, and – despite all the critical acclaim – the whole Whitney Houston poo-tugging thing just won't pay the mortgage. So the only thing left for Bobby Brown was to reform New Edition. Which would have been good, had Bobby Brown not spectacularly ballsed up the big New Edition comeback so much that an audience was screaming for him to leave the stage after a few songs.
We don't know the ins and outs of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston's bank balance, but we'd expect that it isn't doing vastly well. After all, there's only so much money that re-releasing Whitney's Greatest Hits every six months can make, plus Bobby Brown's solo career has never been more than patchy for the last 15 years. And Whitney Houston's crack/rehab/devil-punching bill must be pretty huge, if all those reports were true.
But Bobby Brown will always have New Edition to fall back on. Oh, you know New Edition. They were a bit like the supermarket own-brand Jackson Five, they did the Candy Girl song and, um, probably some other stuff too. And after all the arrests and divorce rumours, a New Edition reunion must have seemed like a good idea.
The first step on the New Edition comeback trail was a spot at the Essence Music Festival in Houston, Texas. Things started well, if a little oddly – as a performance of Mr Telephone Man saw the non-Bobby Brown members of New Edition slickly bust their well-rehearsed dance moves while Bobby Brown staggered wildly around the stage flailing around in an apparently raunchy way.
Then, after a Brown-less series of ballads were performed, Bobby Brown returned to the stage for a solo set. And by 'solo set' we mean more hamfisted dance moves, Bobby Brown taking his shirt off and telling the audience what it's like to have it off with Whitney Houston all the time. By the end of My Prerogative, members of the audience were reportedly screaming at Bobby Brown to get off the stage.
Of course, Bobby Brown was going about this the wrong way; instead of getting his nipples out and talking about having sex with Whitney Houston, he should give the audience what they want – next time, expect to see a trouserless Whitney Houston brought on for some live crap extraction action.
Read more:
Bizarre Brown Antics Spoil New Edition Reunion – ContactMusic
[story by Stuart Heritage]