Of all the chocolate bars, Snickers never really enjoyed the same ultra-gay reputation as counterparts like Mars Delight and the gone but not forgotten Secret bar – but thanks to a Snickers Super Bowl advert about two blokes snogging, that could change.
Or at least it would change, if only squadrons of gay activists hadn't called for the gay Snickers Super Bowl commercial to be banned forever for being offensive to homosexuals. In the Snickers advert – which we've got for you after the jump – two burly mechanics share an accidental gay Lady And The Tramp-style kiss while sharing a Snickers bar, then attempt to make up for it by yanking out clumps of their own chest hair – and that just isn't acceptable in today's cosmopolitan society, say gay rights organisations. In real life they'd have probably done a bit a rimming first or something.
Super Bowl outrage is more important than the Super Bowl itself these days. Genuinely not a single person on the planet remembers the teams taking part in Sunday's Superbowl – let alone the final scoreline – but they remain happy because the Super Bowl gives them something to grump about every year. Most famously there was Janet Jackson's world-upsetting floppy norks – a trick she's keen to repeat – and that was followed last year by Super Bowl officials first banning the elderly and then censoring the word 'come' from The Rolling Stones' set.
This year, though, Super Bowl outrage went into overdrive. Spotty, socially inept fast food workers went medieval about an advert where Kevin Federline worked in a fast food restaurant. Then there were the outraged idiots frothing about how Prince's Super Bowl set should have been censored because a guitar neck looks a bit like a demon's penis. And now there's the Snickers advert.
The Snickers Super Bowl advert had a simple premise – if you eat even a mouthful of a Snickers bar you instantly turn into a card-carrying, soft furnishing-loving screaming homosexual of the most outrageous kind, only to become so disgusted with yourself for finding another male attractive that you start tearing out clumps of bodily hair in anguish. Ignoring the fact that guilt-ridden latent homosexuals are a slightly niche demographic to spend $2.6 million on – especially for a 30-second commercial broadcast in the middle of a sporting event – the gay Snickers Super Bowl ad has some feathers in the gay community – particularly the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation and the Human Rights Campaign – as E! Online reports:
"Mars needs to apologize for the deplorable actions of its Snickers brand," [said] GLAAD president Neil Giuliano… Another GLAAD spokesperson said Tuesday that the commercial's "kind of prejudice was inexcusable." The HRC, for one, took major offense at a video posted on snickers.com showing football players hootin' and hollerin' at the onscreen kiss. "This type of jeering from professional sports figures at the sight of two men kissing fuels the kind of anti-gay bullying that haunts countless gay and lesbian school children on playgrounds all across the country,'' HRC president Joe Solmonese said in a statement.
Wow, you'd have thought GLAAD would have had enough on its hands, what with homophobic American Idol in full swing and gay-hating Isaiah Washington going through his gay-loving rehab – but the protests seem to have done the trick. Mars has now pulled the gay Snickers Super Bowl kissing advert from TV screens forever, and will replace it with a new commercial where a gay man eats a Snickers bar, gets overcome by heterosexual lust, humps a woman and then frantically tries to grow some chest hair in anguish – much less offensive, we're sure you'll agree.
But hey, just because you can't watch the gay Snickers Super Bowl ad on TV any more doesn't mean that it isn't plastered all over the internet. Like right here for example. Enjoy…