You might think that Brad Pitt had enough on his hands, what with saving the world using only a supposedly very beautiful baby as ammunition, but then you’d be neglecting Brad’s dedication to fighting zombie hoards.

Brad Pitt this week found himself locked in a bidding war for the film rights of a book. But not just any book – a so-far unpublished book about zombies by the son of Mel Brooks. And who was Brad’s opponent in this bidding war? Why, none other than our old friend Leonardo DiCaprio. A shame, since we have near-conclusive proof that Leonardo DiCaprio actually is a zombie. We caught some rare documentary footage from when The Titanic sank, and DiCaprio can clearly be seen sinking to the bottom of the sea and dying, making Zombie Kate Winslet cry quite a lot.