In which case, get ready to be excited. Warner Bros is putting together a live action/CG hybrid movie based on Yogi Bear. Although it’s still early days, the studio is hoping that the Yogi Bear movie will replicate the success of Alvin & The Chipmunks and Garfield: A Tale Of Two Kitties, in that children will quite like it even though it’s obvious to everyone else that it couldn’t be any worse if it had a farting nun in it.
But however it turns out, there’s no doubt that this Yogi Bear movie will be better than the 1982 fully live action Yogi Bear movie that ended in tragic circumstances when, enraged by the hat and restricting collar it was forced to wear, the grizzly playing Yogi Bear lashed out and horrifically mauled Ranger Smith to death. Those images of Boo Boo tearing lumps from Smith’s disemboweled thigh won’t be forgotten in a hurry.
We’re just going to come out and say this – the Yogi Bear movie should never be made. Seriously. Forget all the stuff about the movie being an insult to the generations who loved the original Yogi Bear cartoon, because that’s nonsense.
No, the real reason that the Yogi Bear movie should never be made is because we need to stop perpetrating the myth that bears are slick-talking hucksters with a fondness for picnic baskets and small gay-seeming companions in bowties who act as a sort of external conscience. They’re really not. Bears are wankers. Have you seen Grizzly Man? Bastards.
However, despite all this, Warner Bros has announced that it’s putting together a Yogi Bear movie which – since it’ll be directed by the man behind Surf’s Up – will probably end up starring Shia LaBeouf as bloody Boo Boo or something. Variety reports:
The studio is developing a feature version of “Yogi Bear,” the classic Hanna-Barbera cartoon, and “Surf’s Up” co-helmer/co-writer Ash Brannon is attached to direct. Joshua Sternin and Jeffrey Ventimilia, who exec produced “That ’70s Show” and are writing the feature “Tooth Fairy” for Fox, are penning the screenplay.
It’s not a huge surprise that the Yogi Bear movie is getting made, because movies that take a beloved cartoon character and CG it into a world of real people are something of a hot trend at the moment. Look at all the Oscars that Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed won, for example, or the way that the shit-eating trailer to Alvin & The Chipmunks single-handedly brought about world peace.
Fingers crossed that the Yogi Bear movie becomes obscenely successful, because that’ll open the floodgates to all kinds of other CG movies based on Hanna Barbera cartoons. Imagine it – The Jetsons, Huckleberry Hound, Hong Kong Phooey. There’s literally a limitless range of movies that could be made, each of which will be guaranteed to upset the generation of fans who loved the originals even though a cursory glance around YouTube will reveal that actually the originals weren’t much cop either and that they’ve wasted their life on misplaced nostalgia.
Or, failing that, Warner Bros could make a Hokey Wolf movie that – in the grand tradition of the cartoons – would be an exact shot for shot bastard remake as the Yogi Bear movie.
But we’ve still got that to look forward to. Now the best thing we can do is try and guess which vaguely credible American sitcom star will star as the human lead in the movie. After all, both Jason Lee and David Cross got roles in Alvin & The Chipmunks. The smart money’s on Alec Baldwin as Ranger Smith. Mark our words.