Gwyneth Paltrow has played all sorts of characters in her time, but none more challenging than her latest role – now Gwyneth Paltrow is a playing woman who all Americans want to kick up the arse because she likes British people more than them.
You see, in a recent interview Gwyneth Paltrow started spouting off about how British people were more interesting, intelligent and civilised than their American counterparts, and her comments appear to have sparked off some kind of nationwide outrage in America. Sure, we know that a little over a year ago Gwyneth Paltrow said the exact opposite thing and gave Britain a slating, but we're going to ignore that because the sense of validation that we get when a watery macrobiotic wooly-headed ninny who names her children after various pieces of fruit like Gwyneth Paltrow shows slightly more affection towards us than the country her family is from is simply overwhelming.
When people say to us "hecklerspray, what's the difference between British people and American people?" we always point them in the direction of Gwyneth Paltrow, because of the different reactions she provokes. Back in October 2005 Gwyneth Paltrow started bitterly complaining about Britain to an American magazine, perhaps not realising that both countries share the same language. Anyway, Gwyneth said:
"I’m just like, ‘The street is filthy, could we take off our shoes before we come into the house?’ … Also, the customer service is just rubbish in England. People are much more relaxed there, and things take for ever to get done. They’ll tell you it’ll take two weeks for your Internet service to be fixed! It drives me nuts."
And in response to Gwyneth Paltrow's unprovoked attack the people of Britain came together and… well, sort of gave a begrudging agreement, really, grumbling that Britain is quite shit actually, mainly because Justin Lee Collins lives there. But Gwyneth Paltrow is nothing but fair, and so when she had to give an interview to a Portuguese newspaper, Gwyneth started laying into Americans too:
"I love the English lifestyle, it's not as capitalistic as America. People don't talk about work and money, they talk about interesting things at dinner. I like living here because I don't fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilised than the Americans."
These comments – and here's how Britain and America are different, folks – have apparently started a wave of slightly redundant anti-Gwyneth Paltrow sentiment in America, as The Mirror reports: