Chances are that Rhydian Roberts expected to wake up this morning as the X Factor champion, but that just didn't happen thanks to the inexplicable popularity of that funny-looking Scottish boy with the ratty hair.
Historically the X Factor silver medallist is consigned to a simple future – one badly-selling album of Michael Ball cover versions that only gets television coverage on GMTV and then a couple of years of doing corporate shows for 50p and a handful of cakes – but Rhydian Roberts might just escape that, because Simon Cowell has signed Rhydian up and wants him to rush an album out before he ends up inevitably playing the Phantom Of The Opera. And, all being well, Rhydian's album To You Love Rhydian: Rhydian Sings The Best Of Ball should be released early next year.
Perhaps our favourite moment from Saturday's X Factor final came during ITV2's The Xtra Factor – look, it's a professional obligation, OK? We don't watch these things out of choice – when everyone was congratulating newly-crowned X Factor champ Leon Jackson except for Rhydian Roberts who, having expected to win the show from his very first audition, bitterly sat alongside him staring into nothingness like a man watching his house burn down.
Clearly Rhydian's tears were understandable – not only had he let the X Factor production team primp him up like an albino, shape his eyebrows and slap three inches of foundation onto his face, but he also had to come to terms with the fact that perhaps millions of teenage girls weren't so keen on a relentless barrage of one shouted churchy operatic ballad after another – but they were misplaced, because Simon Cowell has decided to sign Rhydian Roberts up after all.
You see, Simon Cowell has come to realise that the pop chart is a fickle bastard, and to get any sort of lasting career out of a reality TV gonk you have to make them produce an album full of operatic standards and pop hits made to sound like operatic standards with a picture of them looking thoughtfully serious in a suit as the cover. You know, the sort of think your Mum would like. It's worked for Il Divo and Paul Potts so far, and now it's time for it to work for Rhydian Roberts.
But there's one thing standing in the way of Simon Cowell's dream, and that's toady old Andrew Lloyd Webber. Even though he apparently turned Rhydian down on that godawful Joseph And His Slightly Girly Frock Coat show of his, Andrew Lloyd Webber is apparently hell-bent on getting Rhydian to star as the Phantom Of The Opera in a new Phantom Of The Opera sequel he's written about the hilarious exploits of the Phantom when he loses his job and has to go and live with his cantankerous father on a scrap metal yard singing songs like You Dirty Old Man and Whoops! (A Rat's Crawled Up My Pipes).
Not that Simon Cowell cares, of course. He'd release an album by a diarrhoea-stricken goat if it made him money, and nothing will stand in his way of doing that with Rhydian. An insider told The Sun:
“Simon is relaxed about Rhydian doing Phantom but he wants to make sure he gets his record deal done first. That way Andrew Lloyd Webber has to work around Simon rather than the other way round.”
So, despite him moping around like a bereaved mother on Saturday night, it looks like everything's coming up Millhouse for Rhydian Roberts. And the spirit of goodwill doesn't end there – Simon Cowell is reportedly close to offering X Factor third-placers Same Difference a deal as well. Admittedly that deal is 'get off my property now and I won't set the hounds on you', but a deal's a deal.
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Jess says
Rydians gorgeous silk suit trousers were made by A Suit That Fits online tailoring company.. http://www.asuitthatfits.com
Ben2 says
If Rhydian is still recording 15 years down the line like Michael Ball is he wont be doing to bad. The music industry is a fickle place and there is something to said for longevity against a couple of years of super stardom and then fading into oblivion.
ALW hasn’t written the sequel to Phantom yet…so Simon has plenty of time. but even when he has I’m not sure Rydian would be right for it anyway.
gir says
hahaha yeah right andrew lloyd weber write a sequel to the phantom of the opera? how is he going to come up with any ideas without some frenchy to write the book first?
UMMM says
ummmmmmm
i’m not a rhydian fan. he’s weird!
omg…!!
but look @ THIS!
http://thepopfix.com/?p=192
sarah says
I watched X Factor and Rhydian was far the best.
I could say that X Factor 2007 was utterly and only Rhydian’s show.
The man is just the best vocalist ever appeared on X Factor and he is born, huge entertainer.
I have no doubts Rhydian will be the biggest superstar any reality show has ever produced!
kjp says
I love Rhydian and can see him being around for a long time. If you think its okay to make fun of someone for a cheap laugh, then go for it. I think we all know who will be laughing in the end.
@Jess says
I love your SPAM
DOLORES says
RHYDIAN WAS BRILLIANT
Ann says
Rather buy Josh Gohan album (be naked HEAVENLY) or G4 album (to take me my G spot).
Rhydian’s album is OVERRATED.