Oh X Factor, how we love you and your neverending – if surprisingly identical to last year and the year before – treats. Saturday's X Factor was full of all the aspects of the show that all we know and love. Well, know and tolerate at least.

X Factor on Saturday was a rollercoaster ride of emotion the likes of which we haven't experienced since that time we saw a particularly impressive hole-punch in April 1994 – we laughed as Sharon Osbourne's house burnt down, we cried when a singer sang a song and the original version of the same some played in the background as the X Factor judges said "yes", we rolled our eyes at the inevitably bad X Factor hopefuls and we cheered with joy at the bit where the judges repeated last year's trick of initially saying yes to a disabled singer so that they can artificially boost their confidence before making the unavoidable bootcamp rejection all the more crushing in a couple of weeks. But that's enough of that – what about the X Factor betting odds?

Here are the X Factor betting odds for Simon Cowell to start crying on the telly…

Simon Cowell to cry during a live performance – Over the years, Simon Cowell has sort of carved out a niche for himself as the unflinching emotionless cruelty machine in charge of all musical talent shows. Simon Cowell hardly ever smiles, and when he does it's only either because he's said something so terrible that a contestant has actually collapsed because of his words or because he wanted to blind someone with his ridiculous teeth. Imagine if Simon Cowell actually started to cry during an X Factor performance. It'd quickly signal the end of his credibility as we know it. All those terrible elderly X Factor contestants in seasons to come would just talk over Simon Cowell's put-downs, or reply with their own insults in the hope that they would make Simon Cowell cry again. Weepy Cowell, they'd call him, the high-trousered emperor of tears. But it could happen; and we think all it'd take to make Simon Cowell cry is a stuttering lapdancer dressed as his Mum singing Unchained Melody. Like we said, it could happen… Current X Factor betting odds – 12/1

Tomorrow – Louis Walsh to walk out again?

[story by Stuart Heritage]