X Factor enters its third week of live finals on Saturday, and it’ll need to pull out all the stops to compete with the thousands of damp, miserable firework displays going on up and down the country at the same time.

Actually, who are we kidding? If there’s one thing that X Factor is world class at, it’s disappointing pyrotechnics – whether it’s Sharon Osbourne flouncing off the show and then sheepishly coming back again three seconds later, the painfully deliberate bickering between the other X Factor judges or the singers themselves, who this year all seem to have been pulled from the back row of a nativity play run by a specialist school for the hopelessly untalented. X Factor is the televisual equivalent of watching a boy try to write his name in the air with a sparkler, but without the exciting but at the end where he badly burns his hand. And, tragically, we’re hooked already.

Here’s the last of this week’s X Factor betting odds to win – for Hope, Rhydian Roberts and Niki Evans – with help from Paddy Power…

Hope – Everyone’s talking about Hope. Well, talking and shifting around uncomfortably in their seats trying to cover their genitals, anyway. While it’s far too early to single out Hope as potential X Factor winners, it is fair to say that they’re the act this year who most closely resemble the window display of a mid-to-large Amsterdam brothel. On Saturday’s X Factor, Hope performed Lady Marmalade while writhing around on the floor like a bunch of deeply erotic tapeworm, causing all kinds of blood pressure problems among the male X Factor viewership. But we’re starting to worry that the sexy act will start wearing off if it’s all they rely on. So maybe Hope should think about ramping it up a little bit next week. We can’t be the only ones who want to see Hope singing I Will Always Love You while doing each other with strap-on dildos, can we? Current X Factor betting odds – 7/2

Rhydian Roberts – Phantom Of The Opera, of course. With the possible exception of Chico having a breakdancing contest with some kids, Rhydian’s X Factor performance of Phantom Of The Opera was hands-down the weirdest moment in the show’s history, all fire and smoke and terrifying unblinking shouting. We’re told that the song has long been Rhydian’s favourite, which could account for the totalitarian, power-deranged way that he went about singing it. While it could have been Rhydian’s high point of the entire series – it’ll be hard for him to commit so heavily when, say, J-Lo night rolls around – let’s all just pray that Rhydian Roberts never ever wins X Factor. Because that’ll only just make Rhydian’s inevitable ambition to make a concept double album about Mordor one horrible step closer to reality. Current X Factor betting odds – 11/4

Niki Evans – Well, we make that one whole week without Niki Evans mentioning her dead father, meaning that she must be in need of another USP. How’s this – she’s singing Celine Dion‘s song… while Celine Dion is in the building! That’s crazy and something that completely hasn’t happened before in the past when everyone had to sing Abba songs in front of Abba or Rod Stewart songs in front of Rod Stewart. Anyway, long story short, Niki Evans sang My Heart Will Go On on Saturday’s X Factor, she did it well and now she’s the favourite to win. But X Factor is just two weeks old and already we’re getting a bit bored of Niki’s ‘power ballad with lyrics sung behind the beat to make it sound more emotional’ shtick. So next week, let’s hope Niki does us all a favour and mixes it up by singing Kill Or Be Killed by Bloodclaat Gangsta Youth. Current X Factor betting odds – 5/2

Tomorrow: Strictly Come Dancing betting odds. But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power X Factor betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.