***Early next year, the X Factor contestents – even Chenai – are going on tour! Check out the tour dates and buy tickets here***
Chenai Zinyuku has finally been dispatched from this year’s X Factor. Week after week of listening to her bizarre diction and crying and bleating about how very important X Factor was to her entire existence left the voting public with no choice but to boot Chenai away from our television sets forever.
Chenai’s version of Always On My Mind would have been entirely forgettable if it wasn’t for the one giant out-of-tune screech that punctuated it. And she was punished for it – well, that and the funny way she talks, anyway.
So now Chenai is no longer in X Factor, can we figure out who will win the series? Here are the latest betting odds to win X Factor, with help from Betfair.com…
The Conway Sisters – We’ve mentioned this before, but we’re
convinced that every single Irish person on the face of the planet is
voting for The Conway Sisters. It’s the only possible way to explain
why they are still in the competition. Their song was such a hopeless
monstrosity – like a shonky Coca Cola advert sung by the world’s
dullest hen-night party – that not even the three million key changes
and actual walk-on gospel choir could make them seem even halfway decent.
We’re stunned that they’re still here. But soon the rational UK vote
will outweigh the blindly patriotic Irish vote, and The Conway Sisters
will be no more. Current odds – 94/1 (95)
Chico Slimari – Last week we suggested that Chico would only remain
in the competition if he did something so mind-blowingly odd that he
endeared himself to the public. And that’s exactly what he did. He sang
Kiss: one verse like the Prince version and the other verse like the
Tom Jones version. It wasn’t even a pop performance – more like some kind of bizarre
alien avant-garde performance art. And it kept him in the
competition. What’s he going to do next week? Current odds – 49/1 (50)
Nicolas Dorsett – For once, we’ll agree with Simon Cowell; Nicholas
choosing to sing I Want You Back was a terrible move. For one, the production
on his version was all cack-handed, and also Nicholas forgot to
actually sing anything, choosing to instead go "yeeeeah, oooh, uh-uh"
over and over again. Luckily, his second performance of the song made
him sing with just about enough conviction to keep him in the
competition. Nicholas is so devoid of personality that he needs to sing
something completely superficial and sexless next week to stop this happening again. Current odds – 24/1 (25)
Brenda Edwards – The one thing that has characterised Brenda’s
appearance on X Factor is her dangerous weight-loss. She says she’s
already lost over a stone – maybe Sharon‘s been teaching her The
Secrets Of Bulimia. But as far as actual singing goes, Brenda loves to
show off her powerful voice by shouting her songs as loudly as she possibly can.
Does that make her a popstar? Two words – Heather Small. Make of that
what you will. Current odds – 19/2 (10.5)
Maria Lawson – Maria is emerging as a real contender to win X
Factor. For her to deviate from the Motown-y/standards hymnbook she’s
been singing from was a brave thing to do, and she just about pulled it
off on Saturday. The fact that she was singing a song by James Fucking
Blunt is beside the point – she sang the song better than the original,
but then again if you set a set a pelican on fire, it’d be able to sing
You’re Beautiful better than James Blunt. Current odds – 24/5 (5.8)
Journey South – The presence of stools in a talent show means one of
two things – ventriloquism or acoustic heartfelt crooning. As far as
we’re able to guess, Journey South did the latter on Saturday. They
performed their (surprisingly non-Bon Jovi) song with just an acoustic
guitar to accompany them and, although not as pant-shittingly bad as
they have been in previous weeks, they did manage to reduce The First
Time Ever I Saw Your Face to a shouty, workmanlike busker’s tune.
They’re still creepy, mind you, and one of them pulls a scary face when
he sings. Current odds – 24/5 (5.8)
Andy Abraham – When we mentioned before that Andy should play up the
sad parts of his life, we didn’t actually mean for his Mum to die.
That’s obviously a devastating thing to happen to anyone, but at least
Andy’s winning the pity votes back. Which is just as well: Andy is
slowly turning into a cruise-ship singer in front of our eyes. After
singing his song, Andy played the sincerity card, telling everyone that
"X Factor has taught me a lot about myself." Yeah, the fact that he
looks a little bit like a prawn. Current odds – 4/1 (5)
Shayne Ward – Had anyone other than Shayne sang such a terrible song
on Saturday, they’d have been in trouble. Not lovable Shayne, though,
what with his rugged good looks, girly voice and rapey Dad. He still
managed to cruise through this round, and is still favourite to win the
competition. Worryingly, the judges mentioned Justin Timberlake to him
a few times, which means we’ll probably see the full hat-tilting JT
impersonation from Shayne next week. Current odds – 51/26 (2.98)
Later on in the week we’ll give you the latest betting odds for the
X Factor managers and the next X Factor elimination. But until then,
check out the UK TV Special Bets section of Betfair.com. And bet, goddammit – there’s money to be made here. You even get free stuff when you join up, look…
readers get free bets when they join Betfair.com! Enter the code WEB111
during sign-up for £10 free or WEB222 for £20 free
The hecklerspray Betfair.com Tutorial
[story by Stuart Heritage]
brenda is gonna win i love her so much and shes got the best mentor sharon i think you are the best and simon is good to i think he plays well fair is the one that has made more of the people get better anmd work harder I LOVE YOU too simon im gonna cum on the X factor next year
Olivia Whitaker says
I can’t belive that Chenai went out of the X Factor last week i was really upset. And every week i voted loads of times for Chenai and i was hoping she would win it but obviously not. Love from Liv xxxxxxxx
You are so fit Nicholas!!!!!
Me and my mate are gutted that Chenai went we are both really upset for her. I would just like to say if your reading this Chenai we votad loadz for you and hope what ever you do we still think you should carry on singing.
Heya!! omg i cant believe chenai went :( i rly wanted her to win. She has an absolutely fantastic voice and tons of talent. Chenai if you read this just remember you are a star and we love u loadz! I wud love you to launch a solo career as i think your voice is just amazing. loadz of love katie x x x x
Brenda is absolutely fab, she should deffinitely win…Nicholas is so shit and devoid of personality that everytime I look at him, I feel he would be perfect for a remake of “The return of the Living Dead”.
hey nicolas jus wanted to say dat ur r rele fit n i love ur voice keep goin babe me n my m8s know u can win it as u got the x factor
mary sue says
This series is a load of tripe. If this lot is the best of British talent,God help us all. The judges have huge egos and the acts very little talent.
I wish Chenai was still in the x factor. She was the best! After Chenai I like Chico he is class!! I love the little lad who danced with him in Billy Jean. And Journey South live near me and its only me in our family who likes the conway sisters and maria . I would like to meet all of them.
u were absolutely brilliant.
nicholas is da fittest boy in da world
omi nicolas u f.a.f i cnt believe dat bitch sendin u hme i luved ya ur gr8 xxx
Guys, all of u are totaly rong!!!! Shayne rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i vote him every time!!! he is so gonna win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shayne rocks!!!!!!! he rules!!!!!!!