X Factor Betting Odds, Dionne & Kerry Out, Who’ll Win?

There's nothing we like better than the annual 'X Factor big band show' or - as it's more commonly known - the annual 'X Factor shits on a bunch of songs you used to like show', and it didn't go well for Dionne or Kerry.

Thanks to the big surprise double X Factor elimination that was actually only really a surprise to people who don't read newspapers or listen to stuff people tell them, both Dionne and Kerry got the shove on Saturday. Dionne for singing You Are The Sunshine Of My Life in the style of someone running up a hill (but still managed to sing it better than Tony Bennett did later on in the show) and Kerry for responding to Simon Cowell's constant calls for her to take a risk by taking the biggest risk of all - singing her song in exactly the same boring-arse way that she'd ever sung every other song during her time on X Factor.

But now that Dionne and Kerry have been eliminated from X Factor, who'll win? Here are the X Factor betting odds for The MacDonald Brothers, Robert Allen and Nikitta Angus…

The MacDonald Brothers - What's this weird obsession with making The MacDonald Brothers constantly sing love ballads into each other's faces all the time? Thank God that The MacDonald Brothers don't have an ounce of charisma between, or we'd have lost our tea watching those two creepy Scottish turds croon Can't Take My Eyes Off You at each other on Saturday. The MacDonald Brothers are quickly turning into The Conway Sisters 2006 - everyone knows they're a fat box of arses but they still somehow keep creeping through the X Factor eliminations. Having said that, Saturday was easily the best MacDonald Brothers performance - we managed a good 36 seconds before their listless singing made us slumped into a narcoleptic coma. Current X Factor betting odds - 66/1

Robert Allen - On last week's X Factor, Robert Allen's bizarre exuberance almost cost him his place in the competition, so this week Robert played it safe by singing a desperately sad song about a trampy old pisshead. The fact that Robert did this wearing the biggest shit-eating grin of the night was frankly confusing, even though the verse about Mr Bojangles' dog dying was strangely removed from the X Factor version, perhaps because it would have made the teenagers cry, and teenagers can't cry and text-vote at the same time. But Robert Allen managed to hold in his annoying excitability throughout the song, only letting it pour out in the post-interview, when he seemed to go through some kind of gibbering breakdown that involved begging people to vote for him because he has to feed his unborn baby. Obviously saying "let me win X Factor or my baby starves," is blackmail of the very worst kind but, judging by these betting odds, Robert's going to have a very hungry baby quite soon. Current X Factor betting odds - 22/1

Nikitta Angus - Prior to her X Factor performance, Nikitta was fretting that she wouldn't be able to sing while doing the ludicrously complicated dancing that had been choreographed for her. What was she going to do? A Gertrud Bodenwieser-influenced expressionist piece reflecting the existential pain of the lyrics she was singing? An exhausting Cajun jitterbug that would blow the minds of anybody watching? No. Instead, all Nikitta actually did was sort of walk around the stage a bit while a midget in a tuxedo did all the dancing around her. As for her actual singing, Nikitta went for the unique angle of singing a big band song in the style Beyonce would, with results that sounded even more terrible than our description would suggest. Current X Factor betting odds - 20/1

Tomorrow - X Factor betting odds for Eton Road, Ashley and Ray…

[story by Stuart Heritage]