"Sometimes it's hard to be a woman," goes the popular country song, "especially when your husband has just been arrested for doing a series of gruesome sex crimes on a child under the age of 13" – and Wynonna Judd knows this song only too well.
Wynonna Judd, the country and western singer who has shifted over 30 million records and performed hits like Let's Make A Baby King, Don't You Throw That Mojo On Me and Flies On The Butter – which all stand strong in the canon of country songs about making baby kings, throwing mojos and butter with some flies on it, is divorcing her husband Dan Roach. Nothing wrong with that you might think, but Wynonna Judd is getting a divorce from Dan Roach because he keeps getting arrested for aggravated sexual battery against children. That, it's fair to say, is a little different to divorcing someone because their nose squeaks when they inhale. Which is something we'd totally do anyway.
Wynonna Judd has got it bad, and the only way you'll be able to understand how bad Wynonna Judd has got it is by drawing a Venn Diagram in your mind. On the one hand, you have the category named 'Judd'. The Judd category is a bad one to be in, as anyone who remembers Wynonna's half-sister Ashley Judd carping on about her emotional problems can attest. And on the other hand you have the category named 'Country Singers' – and we don't need to tell you about the amount of rehab, indiscriminate waitress choking, frantic denials of homosexuality, drug arrests and girly website tantrums, that goes on there. And right at the exact point where those two categories overlap is Wynonna Judd.
Previously the height of Wynonna Judd's trouble came when she went on Oprah four years ago and tried to explain away the fact that she was abnormally porky by wittering on about having a "severe food dependency" – but now Wynonna Judd has found herself with some first-rate trouble that finally justifies her spot in that imaginary Venn Diagram we were just telling you about – Wynonna Judd is divorcing her husband Dan Roach because he got arrested for molesting a little girl. E! Online reports:
The country music star filed for divorce Tuesday from estranged husband Dan Roach, less than a week after he was indicted in Tennessee on three charges of aggravated sexual battery against a minor under the age of 13. "I am obviously devastated," Judd, who with mother Naomi made up one of country's biggest-selling acts, the Judds, said in a posting on her Website. "Our family will pull together, begin the healing process and hopefully—by the grace of God—become stronger. We will move forward with our faith, family and our friends to find resolution to this difficult situation."
Specifically Dan Roach – who checked into a drug and alcohol addiction centre a week ago – was arrested on three charges of aggravated sexual battery against a child under the age of 13. The charges allege that Dan Roach fondled the girl as opposed to any form of penetration. Which is bound to be a weight off Wynonna Judd's mind.
But Wynonna Judd is right to look on the bright side of her divorce. She can, and she will, become stronger from discovering that her husband has been arrested for touching up girls. And the first step of Wynonna Judd rebuilding her life will be to find a new boyfriend, who will probably come from Wynonna's preliminary shortlist of Michael Jackson, Gary Glitter and that dude from America's Next Top Model.
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Joann Mayo says
Where do they find these people. Most common people know this stuff, watch out for creeps.
sid says
This has to be the ugliest female ever they should keep her in a barn not on a stage. Anybody that would be willing to marry that cow would need to be a child molester
bj del says
She must have been adopted because she don’t look 1/10th as good as mom! Maybe she should have bought him a sheep!
DRH says
Wynonna is my favorite country singer…She is strong and
I so admire she helped herself…
Wy can sing
sing sing…
I think she
is really
a doll.
Watch her be a legend….
Keep on blessing people.
syd says
someday you’ll be old and fat, and you’ll never look as good as Wynonna does…EVER!!