Writers’ Strike Wreaks Vengence On Justice-Seeking Superhero Movie

We once got bit by a cactus in a room where we were watching our aunt get chemo.

We felt different afterwards - very different. Our skin took on a heroic red hue, and little patches of extra muscle formed all over our body in the exact shape of radiation blisters. We'd entered that room too weak to even wear that simple lead vest, and left the room without touching the ground.

It's because we were vomiting on a stretcher. Apparently people visiting hospitals are 'obligated' to read the door-signs. What are we, students? Needless to say no real powers were transferred to us from that radiated cactus. And like us, the Justice League of America is looking sickly, bald and blistery at the moment.

That was a metaphor.  It was a metaphor about the writers strike. Don't make us work, we're still on bed-rest.

What did Captain America in was a bullet. Captain Marvel was taken by some kind of cancer, and Spider-man will eventually get knocked off by Serpentor. We meant knocked up, but just you watch - we're calling it now.

In The Amazing Spider-Man issue 50,002 Parker realizes he's been trapped in the wrong body, right then there's a GI Joe cross over in which Serpentor woos the crap out of him her. It was probably easy for the snake-lord to do - after all he had the toned body of a dead ninja! Anyway the pairing results in several offspring that have spider-like agility and a solid membership in those southern snake-dancing churches. It's a love story actually.

But that tale is for another day - today we're just talking about how this writers strike is the stick in the spokes of TV & talkies everywhere. The most recent casualty is the Justice League of America movie. You know the one - it's got Superman, Indiana Jones, Batman, the Flash…you name it.

Well the movie has hit a serious road block, and it's a shame because there's nothing people would like more than the visual of Superman and Batman giving hi-fives after a hard-earned victory.

Listen to E! Online now:

"…the film has been sidelined indefinitely after producers agreed the script by Kieran Mulroney and Michele Mulroney needed some tinkering—something that can't be done until the writers' strike is over."

You know, if the movie was reality based the writers couldn't mess it up. What we're saying is stick that Brody guy in his Flash costume and make him scatter a bunch of MS-13 members in a Los Angeles ghetto.

Then open at Sundance. Better hurry.

Read More:

Warner Bros. Stalls Justice League - Animation Magazine