Jay Leno is going about this writers strike all wrong. Here he sits with a rare opportunity to experiment in a writer-free world, and you know what he's doing? Nothing!
We happen to know for a fact that Leno has been offered the chance to neuter 15 pencil-thin Mexicans on live TV and he didn't even respond to our email! Well it looks like Jay Leno wants our neighbour across-the-street to keep breeding more Mexican baby basement slaves then, now doesn't it. You've won this round Mr. Johnson, but you can't enslave a child that isn't here!
Non existence is the ultimate freedom!
But as much as he is impartial to the enslavement of children and probably their parents in Johnson's cellar, Jay Leno is un-impartial about the writers strike. He went back to work recently with the blessing of the Writers Guild, and delivered an impeccable monologue. The thing was so good that the Writers Guild thinks he may be using a secret writing staff and now they want to kill him forever.
We wrote that lat bit from scratch. Sweeping and powerful, right? We're not union.
When Jay Leno returned to the air, everyone thought he was gonna have to rely on his old material, like eating Doritos and telling you to eat them too, because they're so delicious and affordable and friendly. Doritos – available worldwide!
But when he went out on stage he didn't bring a single bag of chips. No – he went out there with only his wit, and some jokes he'd written for himself. He told his audience:
"I write jokes. We are following the guild thing – we can write for ourselves."
Well apparently he can't, because Patric M. Verrone, lord of the striking writers, said:
"You want a quote from me? I'll give you a quote from me – You guys are all dick-tits. There, that's a quote from me."
Wait – that wasn't Verrone that was our grandmother's third journal. It's got multiple chapters like that. Here's a real quote from Verrone:
"I can understand that there may have been some confusion for Jay about that…[but now] I made it absolutely clear that he cannot write for the show."
We're with ya Verrone! In fact we're with all th righters. We dont cair enuff to actually stop righting, but we refoos to use spel check until this hole mess is sorted out.
Until then strike, you dick-tits, strike! Luv you Gramsie!
Read More:
WGA Calls Out Leno On Monologue – Variety