World Tilts On Axis As Khloe Kardashian?s Twitter Account Is Hacked

The globe was sent into utter turmoil on Friday as Khloe Kardashian ? any sane man?s ?third choice? when it comes to the Kardasain sisters ? began firing some perplexing tweets at an apathetic internet audience.

Initially puzzled as to why anyone in their right mind would care one jot about the opinions of any of the three over-priviliged no-marks, the universe pretended to express deep concern when the one you ?definitely wouldn?t? started creating a bit of a stir with tweets that seemed out of character.

Yeah, we presume she has some kind of character or something.

Anyway, the tweets went like this:

?If no-one was there to hear me queef, did it really exist??


?touching my titties?

And also

?I like to crap, not wipe, sit on my dogs neck & give him a bow-tie?

Not to mention the genius

?I?ve just sharted?

Most of the civilised world had no idea why any of the above would be note-worthy, assuming it all to be entirely indicative of Khloe ?Airport Security Is Like Rape? Kardasian?s normal mental output.

And then listlessly reacted to the news that the whole thing was a massive hoax perpetuated by the comedy genius of both her sister Kim (who you would) and Nicole Richie (you?d have to be really drunk) who hacked her Twitter account (no doubt utilising the little-known ?password? as password get-around these imbeciles seem to be unaware of) to then spew-out a load of inane tweets indistinguishable from the real ones.

Meanwhile things seem to be getting no better in Libya.

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