Let this be a lesson – any time you're a bit short of cash, try spitting on a rapper's car; with any luck they'll get out of the car and batter your face and body, allowing you to sue them just like Busta Rhymes is currently being sued.

Roberto LeBron has filed a lawsuit for unspecified compensatory and punitive damages against Busta Rhymes after the rapper allegedly became violent and attacked him following an incident where LeBron apparently spat on Busta's car. Although for Busta Rhymes this lawsuit is just yet another pesky legal hurdle to clamber over, for the rest of us it seems like quite a lucrative little sideline. How could we be so stupid not to see that it's spitting on rappers' cars and taking a beating from them that'll secure our fortune? We're going to start off small, though, so if anyone sees Scatman John's 1982 Yugo 45, be sure to drop us a line so we can get our saliva glands going properly in advance.

It doesn't take a genius to see what trouble Busta Rhymes is in. We're not sure why – possibly because he rewatched Shaft and realised he'd have earnt his salary in a much more worthwhile way if he'd literally whored himself out to passing businessmen – but following the fatal shooting of his bodyguard Israel Ramirez, Busta Rhymes has turned into a sort of crazy-eyed nutter who appears to beat up every single human he comes across.

Humans like his driver – who was apparently beaten up just because he asked Busta Rhymes for some wages – and someone who just wanted an autograph. And, of course, Roberto LeBron from the Bronx who was beaten up by Busta Rhymes for spitting on his car last year. Although the beating LeBron received saw Busta Rhymes get arrested for assault – which Busta is about to go to court over, along with other trials for the driver-beating, drink-driving and driving on a suspended license – seeing Busta Rhymes stand four different trials isn't enough for Roberto LeBron, so now he's suing him as well. E! Online reports:

Busta Rhymes was sued in New York State Supreme Court on Monday by a Bronx man who alleges he was roughed up by The Big Bang rapper and his posse last summer after spitting on Rhymes' SUV. The plaintiff, Roberto LeBron, 20, claims he was repeatedly punched and kicked in the body and face by the 35-year-old Rhymes during the wee hours of Aug. 12 as the hip-hopster's nine bodyguards stood by and watched. LeBron was treated at a nearby medical center for a concussion, split lip and injury to his wrist and later released.

LeBron's lawyer seems to be resting the lawsuit on the basis that his client was only beaten up by Busta Rhymes because Busta's record sales go up each time he's arrested, which is an interesting proposition. Perhaps, now that illegal downloading has the music industry on its knees, a reprieve might come from record label executives ordering their stars to go out and leather their fans every time they want their sales boosted. Having said that, even this strategy has its limitations – if Busta Rhymes can hit a boy and see a moderate increase in album sales, it'd take a month-long stabbing frenzy across the streets of London for the members of Keane to even make us slightly care that they had a new album out.

Read more:

Busta Sued For Bust-Up – E! Online