Hecklerspray hates April Fool’s Day. Really, really hates it. This stems from a deep rooted belief in the good of people, plus a bit of gullibility. Already today, we’d been tricked into thinking that GMail had invented infinite storage. And also, for some reason, thinking we were the biggest celebrities in South Korea. But that’s for another time.
No more! So today hecklerspray is going to debunk the joke stories for you…
The Sun starts proceedings with a story about how Nintendo have invented a bionic finger that works
on brain impulses. The inventors name? Yuwani Myafingo. RUBBISH!
The cheeky boys and girls at The Mirror are trying to tell us that sheep are going to be used at Wembley stadium to keep the pitch nice and short. "We are not being taken for fools", a spokesman is quoted as saying. NO WAY!
The Daily Mail
are pulling our legs about a pensioner that yanked seven of her own
teeth out with pliers because she could not find an NHS dentist. Where
did this so-called pensioner live? Scarborough. BOLLOCKS!
The Independent have magically produced a report about how men like going to lapdancing clubs. What date was this published? April 1st. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, LOSERS!
And The Financial Times want us to believe that Nikkei is up as stock gains offset weak Tankan. They say that Sumitomo Mitsui Construction slumped 10.8 per cent to Y99 after it dramatically widened its net loss
estimate for the fiscal year just ended and asked its creditor banks
for Y184bn in aid. KISS MY ARSE, LYING NEWSPAPERS!
You’re welcome.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Is this meant to be funny? Because it really isn’t – the author comes across as an angst ridden teenager with nothing better to do. Get a bit of class into your articles – and get the pictures all the right size – and you might have something. This reads as a badly researched piece. I don’t get the point of it.
Thanks for the glowing feedback – the writer will be thrashed to within an inch… angst-ridden is certainly not what we’re aiming for.
hs
Seemed like an obvious tongue placed in cheek to me with that FT story at the bottom. Rock on hecklers.