File this under: are you fucking kidding me?! No, you have not gone into an internet time warp back to 2004; I am legit writing a story about Kevin Federline, and I’m just as grossed out as you are. However, it did seem pretty notable that KFed and his wife (yes, another poor soul married him) and expecting another child. Kevin Federline will soon have SIX kids!
KFed most famously left his pregnant babymama, Shar Jackson, for Spears back in 2004. He already had a daughter with Shar, so when she popped out a son that brought him to two kids. Then he had two boys with Britney (which he got custody of after she went nuts), giving him four kids. Then he married some blond chick, had a daughter (five kids), and now they’re expecting another! Has KFed never heard of pulling out?!
The number one thing I’m wondering is how exactly KFed is paying for all these kids? I know his fat ass isn’t a dancer anymore, so that’s off the table. One Tree Hill isn’t on the air anymore, so he can’t beg for another guest role. His recording career didn’t exactly take off (remember Popozao?! or however the fuck you spell it). As far as I know, the only income he makes is getting child support from Britney Spears.
This makes me think his wife might not be the brightest crayon in the box, you know? First of all, if history has shown anything, women only marry KFed when they’re on the verge of a mental breakdown. Second, who meets a guy, finds out that his only source of income is child support payments from his ex-wife, and decides “Yep, that’s the guy for me! In fact, that’s make it an even half dozen!” WHO?!
What is it about Kevin Federline?! Does he ejaculate some sort of golden drug that makes women want to have children with him?! It makes no fucking sense! Then again, that being said, who wouldn’t want a piece of this: