A quick show of hands, please: who else assumed that Michael Jackson's comeback album would be a half-baked self-justification including song-titles like Innocent (Didn't Do It), Not Guilty (Didn't Do It) and Those Kids Wanted It (Still Didn't Do It Though)?
Well… it still might be, for all we know. But it's more likely that the new Michael Jackson album will contain at least one song where Michael Jackson sings about how pretty his tits are, because it's going to be produced by Will.I.Am from The Black Eyed Peas. And this time it isn't just a rumour either, because Will.I.Am has been busy talking up the record and saying that Michael Jackson still sings like a bird.
OK, let's get the Orville jokes out of the way before we carry on, shall we?
Michael Jackson needs to act fast. Up until recently the slightest Michael Jackson movement – like him dressing up as a lovely Muslim lady or being vaguely exciting to some Japanese people – would result in all kinds of frenzied babbling, but now that his brother Jermaine Jackson is on Celebrity Big Brother, it looks like Michael Jackson might end up as the second-most famous member of the Jackson 5 if he doesn't get his act together and release some music soon.
Sure, Michael Jackson has made promises to make a new record for ages, but we're learning not to hold our breath. First Michael Jackson was going to make a new record in Bahrain – only for that to go pear-shaped very quickly – and the much rumoured Michael Jackson/ 50 Cent collaboration never turned up either. And as for that record of duets with the dead Pope…
Not even a simple task like going on a stage and singing Thriller could be accomplished without Michael Jackson royally arseing thing up. So when we heard that Will.I.Am from The Black Eyed Peas was going to help out on a new Michael Jackson record – well,you'd forgive us for not taking it too seriously. But it looks like Will.I.Am really is going to be producing a new Michael Jackson album – he's told MTV about it and everything:
The album is due by the end of 2007 and Will. I.Am is excited about MJ's potential. "Man, he still sings like a bird," he said. "He could go anywhere. I think we have a real opportunity to do something here. It's either gonna be really big or nobody's gonna care. Ain't no middle ground on this one." The pair have been coming up with ideas for the album concept through regular phone chats and Will.I.Am says Jacko has even been picking his brain about using new internet technology to get his tunes out there.
It's lovely to see that not even one of the most in-demand producers around can be really certain that he can keep Michael Jackson off the Jesus Juice long enough to make a record that doesn't stink worse than a tramp's gonads, don't you think?
Read more:
wiffen says
and there was me thinking that that fucking Fergie song about how London Bridge was like her vagina was the worst it could get
gabriel says
hold it right there! MICHAEL JACKSON, may i remind you, has had a pretty good run when it comes to hits as you well know, there is not one person on this planet that doesn’t like at least one of his songs,
you never know this time, maybe hes finally realised his failings, this could be good it could be bad but whatever the case you’d hate it if you were michael jackson at this time so why don’t you start bitchin bout worthy people such as paris hilton, lindsay lohan and nicole richie. ahaha
Brendan Vella says
lindsay lohan (FREAK) Paris Hilton (WHY) Nicole Richie (Who Cares) Three names that dont mean much to the world of music history, Michael Jackson ( King of POP!) Now thats a name we will all remember, and even the next generation will. I’m 26 love music and have enjoyed Michaels music for 22 years of my life. His last album was real good, tho the marketing was utter shit! There are some great tracks on that album, Rock your world, Butterflys and a few more, and to say the least his new album for 2007 will be great. I do just hope he wont put his angre in this album, or any more tracks regarding the chrildren of the world etc, we want funky tracks that will rock the dance floor. Funny thing is, he can do this. Is it time for the return of Michael Jackson……….I think so.
JessLanai says
Its really annoying cause ya’ll just don’t learn. Now as much as your words effect the fans. I mean I do be shakin with anger. Michael don’t give a damn. He’s still got a album coming. He’ll make billions of dollars cause he’s got that many fans left. And you can’t do shit about it.
Hamba Kahle Michael Jackson. Ngikufisela okuhle kodwa!
Everytime people get together to abuse somebody or something verbely it always turns out the same.
Like the Great Bob Marley said:
they got so much things to say
i’ll never forget no way
they crucified jesus crist
so don’t you forget
who you are
and where you stand in the struggle
cause i don’t expect to be justified
by the laws of men
oh the jury found me guilty but truth
shall prove my innocence.
And just so you know. You don’t care, and honestly who cares if you don’t care. Michael is working his ass of, to get back his respect. This has been unimaginably hard for him. And hell you don’t like the guy fine. But who can’t admire his courage. And it is also very rare, that a guilty man fights to prove his innocence, when he got off the hook without a scratch.
Al my liefde toe die Michael Jackson. Onderskeidilik groet mensekind! Die Vrou is stil mal vir jy!
I shall translate that last part. Michael Jackson is hot as hell!!! A comment from quite a few woman of the world.
Paige says
I dont care what anyone says Michael Jackson Rock he is an amazing entertainer and a wonderful man who by the way i believe is an innocect man aswell i cant wait for his comeback Michael Jackson is hot as hell!!! i totally agree with this statement no matter what anyone says MJJ rocks and always will go MJJ
patrick says
ups sorry i didnt told y last time i was send y a message my name is patrick, REMEBER Y ARE THE PEASEMAKER NOTHING IS BETTER END Y AND Y MUSIC Y HEART AND YOURSELF JUST REMEBER Y HAD A AMASING FAN HERE
mia says
imm a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mj fan, but im really scared that, even if the new album has some AMAZING tracks on it, sales-wise it’ll do badly. NOT cos mj is shit (thats CRAZY) but cos ppl are shit and believe the tabloids therefore they dont want anything to do with him anymore. please please give him a chance, all u haters out there-watch his private home movies….interviews over the last couple of decades etc….trust me this man is innocent all the way! i never used to think it but im thoroughly convinced he is. i just wish everyone accross the world agreed with me
Caylee Kaitner says
I do like you Mia and believe what you say, so please ignore my other comment and anyone else who believes Michael is innocent.
emanuele says
ma chi si credono di essere questi qua che parlano male di Michael Jackson loro non hanno mai conosciuto il re del pop e sono invidiosi del suo successo anche dopo la sua morte ma io mi domando quale altro cantante raggiunger