When you invite William Shatner to your wedding, you only give yourself two possible outcomes.
The first outcome involves him trying to convince the big, white cake he really is a lawyer – and that he absolutely understands all the legal jargon and everything – for the complete duration of your first dance. The second possible outcome involves him crashing a life-size mock-up of the Starship Enterprise through the beautiful gazebo your grandfather lovingly finished building for you the day before his last heart attack.
We heard that last one he actually did to Leonard Nemoy. Seriously – there were tractor beam parts all over the roof, gutters, guest cars and lawn. This is why, we assume, Bill Shatner was not invited to Helmsman Sulu‘s big gay history-book wedding. Shatner doesn’t understand this though, and he seems kinda pissed about his lack of an invite.
Off the top of our heads we can think of three things Ringo Starr and William Shatner have in common. The first two have to do mostly with penile stripes and a shared love for cookies. The third one though, well the third one is the only one you really need to know about – they both seem to dislike people in whatever forms they may be encountered in.
Ringo, for instance, has the grump with his fans. He maybe even wishes they’d all throw themselves over the trembling ledge of a train station, if you catch our meaning. Shatner likes his fans enough, apparently, but only if he’s never worked with any of them ever in his whole life. This includes the shop keep who hired a young Billy Shatner to restock his scarce food shelves during the height of the great depression.
Imagine the darkness of heart that could dislike someone who helped feed your family during such a tumultuous time. Unthinkable!
Untrue too!
Shatner does think his old coworker George Takei has a beef with him though. According to Bill, Takei refused to allow Shatner within 100 yards of anyplace he ever planned to marry, and even tried to get him deported for the entire duration of the honeymoon. That or the captain was just pissed for not getting an invite. Whatever. Here’s a Kirk-quote:
“The whole thing makes me feel badly. Poor man. There is such a sickness there. It’s so patently obvious that there is a psychosis there. I don’t know what his original thing about me was. I have no idea.”
We peeled that quote out of a video Shatner posted on his own website. The whole thing doesn’t end with Shatner’s hurt feelings though – Takei has a retort:
“It is unfortunate that Bill was unable to join us for our wedding as he indeed was invited to attend. It is our hope that at this point he joins us in voting no on Proposition 8, which seeks to [absorb all of Texas into California, and then turn the whole thing into a giant movie studio with tremendous tax breaks.]”
We lost the last part of the quote there, but we know Hollywood types, and feel pretty secure in our assumption of how that stupid speech probably ended. We also feel secure in our knowledge of geography.
Now get down there and watch Shatner’s weird rant:
Tux says
Shatner has never voiced any expectation of a wedding invite, and his gracious response to media inquiry was reported by The New York Post of 4 June 2008: “No, we have not been in touch [with George Takei and his soon-to-be husband] but I wish the happy couple all the best. George deserves a moment of happiness.”
[Link: tinyurl.com/49uyf9]
With the Takei “psychosis” video, Shatner has hit a raw nerve of widespread media buzz.
Note: A&E’s new talk show, “Shatner’s Raw Nerve”, premieres on the Biography Channel in December (or sooner?), so there’s precious little time to promote Shat’s capability as a badass on the edge!
;-)
Joe Viglione says
Star Trek is an amazing program. But it is show business. Do you really think Mick Jagger and Keith Richards had all those “fights” ? When Keith Richards graces a magazine cover saying he was to land one on Mick, they laugh all the way to the bank.
This is brilliant Star Trek marketing in the waiting period before the next film is released.
Without this spat there would be only the fan base chatting about Star Trek. Brilliant.
Really? says
Joe Viglione. You are a fucking idiot.