This whole Anna Nicole Smith thing happened so long ago that we honestly can’t remember a single thing about it – we think she had a baby or died or something – so it’d be just great to see the whole Anna Nicole Smith story condensed into two hours.

Wait a minute, that’s already happening! Even though the general public at large has had so much Anna Nicole Smith stuck up them over the last couple of months that they’d rather plunge corkscrews into their eyes than hear another squeak about her, an enterprising filmmaker has already started to crack on with an Anna Nicole Smith biopic, with singer slash actress slash model slash dancer slash tits-out jizz-target Willa Ford being cast as Anna Nicole Smith.

Filmmaker – if you’re reading this, we totally look like that German impotent prince guy who didn’t father Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. Plus we’re cheap. Call our agent. His trolley-collecting shift ends at 2am, so that’s when he’ll be free.