Will There Be A New Twilight Book? Um…

Twilight, Twilight 5, Twilight book, New Moon, Stephenie Meyer, Oprah Winfrey, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, Kristen StewartWith New Moon being released this week, there’s only one question that needs to be asked about the Twilight saga.

And that’s ‘for the love of all that’s holy, won’t somebody make it stop?’ Oh, and also ‘now that the saga has become so depressingly popular, will Stephenie Meyer ever write another Twilight book?’ That is a question that needs to be asked. It is. It is. Alright, it isn’t. But Stephenie Meyer has answered it anyway.

So will there be a new Twilight book? Maybe. One day. Unless she thinks of something better to do. Possibly. You’re welcome Twilight fans. You’re welcome.

At the moment, the Twilight saga has a perfect ending. Breaking Dawn – the book where Edward chews through Bella‘s uterus or whatever – wraps things up nicely for everyone. Bella becomes a vampire, Edward finds love, Taylor Lautner decides that he wants to have sex with a baby or something and all the Twilight fans who read it end up soaked in their own wee to such a horrendous extent that even they realise they should probably start reading real books for once. It’s a perfect ending.

However, because the books are so popular – and definitely not because Stephenie Meyer wants enough money to submerge a giant coin mosaic of her own face at the bottom of her Olympic-sized heated swimming pool – there’s a chance that Breaking Dawn might not be the last Twilight book after all. Why, just the other day Oprah Winfrey opened an episode of her show with the burning question:

“Coming up, will there be a fifth book in the Twilight saga? Stephenie answers that later.”

Admittedly Oprah didn’t get round to actually asking that question – she was probably too busy prattling on about her feelings like some sort of awful ninny – but after the show some backstagers, probably rolling their eyes and muttering “She’s always doing this”, collared Stephenie Meyer and forced her to answer the question. Here’s what she said:

“I can’t answer it. The way I write, it’s what makes me happy. Like, I can’t write when people are looking over my shoulder. I am a little burned out on vampires right now. I think I need a little break. I might go spend some time with my aliens. I did envision it as a longer series. But I wrapped ‘Breaking Dawn’ in a way that I felt satisfied with, so if that moment didn’t come, I’d be OK.”

Brilliant! That means there’s definitely going to be a fifth Twilight book – Stephenie Meyer just needs to write an underperforming book about aliens that makes her realise that she’ll only have enough money to eat if she keeps joylessly churning out Twilight stories first. And you know what that means – a new Twilight book will eventually become a new Twilight film!

We don’t know what we’re more excited about – the thought of seeing a paunchy Taylor Lautner taking his top off with the kind of glee you only get when you’ve spent the last decade making direct-to-DVD erotic thrillers or the fact that, by the time the fifth Twilight film gets made, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson will have got married, had children and gone through the bitterest divorce in Hollywood history, making every scene they share toe-curlingly awkward for everyone involved.

But what to call the fifth Twilight book? We’ve already had Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn – what comes after that? Well, if our research is anything to go by, we can now comfortably predict that the next Twilight book will be called The Fat Lady Gets Another Jaffa Cake Out Of The Packet. We’re almost completely certain about that.

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Comments

  1. Deborah says

    There IS a fifth book – Midnight Sun, ok, it hasn’t been finished because of it leaking out before hand and Stephanie got cheesed off so she stopped writing (or so she says on her website) It’s the first book (twilight) but from Edward’s point of view.

    for the 6th book – I envision the Volturi kidnap Renesmee ( stupid name) and so the Cullens & the wolves all go to Italy to get her back, another epic battle follows and ends of course with a happy ending

    Yes, I’m a fan, however it’s tongue in cheek, reminds me how I felt when I was 17.

  2. says

    She had already started writing a 5th book, but it got leaked on the internet somehow. You could read part of the 5th book on her website a while ago…not sure if it’s still up on her site or not.

  3. Suzanne says

    I think we can stop this crazy train now. It was good for what it was. It made a stay at home mom rich, three actors well known for not doing much and put every tween,teen and adult in a frenzy state.
    adding to it would only cheapen the experience(which we know will happen)
    Her work is done………………………………………….?

  4. Leah says

    I think there should be a fifth book. I think with Resseme growing up. I would like to see how her and jacob’s relationship evolves. Why not.

  5. KJ says

    Well I hated Breaking Dawn, So unless she “rewrites” that one, I will not read a 5th book. (unless we are talking about Midnight sun, which I love!!!) After reading the end, I really don’t care for their future anymore.

  6. Arely says

    I read midnight sun on Stephanie website its great but we do have Twilight already. Why not have a story following after breaking dawn with Renesmee live story. She a half human and half vampire come on. That would be a great book to read..Will she end up with her Jacob or the other half human half vampire man????

  7. Karrie says

    I was one of the skeptics and thought the Twilight craze was insane. I finally gave in and watched Twilight and then bought all of the books. I love them all. I really hope there is another book to follow. There is so much left untold.

  8. Julia says

    If there is a fifth book – and I admit it would make perfect sense for Meyer to ride out the twilight saga wave for as long as possible given her extreme fan base – it would have to be entitled “Rising Sun”. To me, his seems like the most workable title (yah I know, speculation).

    I think there would be some serious disappointment hanging over the series where Jakob’s story is left hinging. The fourth book just seems to drop off – the whole imprinting concept needs more explanation if you ask me…

  9. Channel says

    Dont give two shits I just want midnight sun to be a bout Jacob and his hot body! Honestly who gives a shit about Bella and Edward and wait oh gosh theres a third and it’s alivee!! Those explanation marks are not suppose to be exciting there supposed to be scary!

  10. Sandra says

    There should be more books. More movies. I believe when you (or anyone) says the books and movies are no good, well, how many people have read them and seen the movie. I visited Italy and Spain and the books were everywhere! This series is popular all over. It is entertaining for both teens and adults.