Will Smith Fails For Once In His Life (At The ‘Not Earning A Lot Of Money’ Game)

You have to sympathise with Will Smith - the man has had a rough time recently, having to deal with a constant barrage of claims that he’s an evil Scientologist from the planet Zod, or wherever it is they come from.

Yes, the Fresh Prince has taken most of his time in-between promoting Hancock defending himself from rabid media types hurling these accusations at him.

We at hecklerspray feel very sorry for Will, so we’re starting a ‘Help Will Smith Fund’ where we will collect aluminium cans and sell them at local scrap yards to raise funds to help young Willy defend himself…

What’s that? He earned how much?! Oh. Well sod him then.

Yes, poor old Will will have to console himself with the fact that he’s only managed to be the highest earning Hollywood type of the last year, bringing home around $80 million clams (around 40 million British clams) for Jada Pinkett and the rest of the family. It will be hard, we’re sure, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Light made out of money, most likely. In a tunnel forged from gold-laced platinum.

We’re not ones to be jealous, nor are we ones to judge - much - but in this case we’re jealous and we may just have to judge ol’ big Willie. It is interesting to see that his alleged affiliations with Scientology haven’t harmed his career in any way - the box office performance of Hancock is testament to that. Even ignoring the huge success of the man and his movies, the performance of Hancock has even gone so far as to be record-breaking - Smitty has managed eight movies in a row grossing more than $100,000,000. That’s one hundred million dollars. More than. Eight times. In a row.

Crikey.

So really - what does Will Smith have to do to fail? What cock up does he have to make before people decide they don’t like him any more? He’s tried bankruptcy, berating an old woman’s driving ability, a failed marriage, cussing Eminem, Men In Black II and possibly being one of those crazy Scientology types, and nothing has made the ever-hating public dislike him. In any way. Ever.

Maybe his constant appearances at the top of rich lists will change all this? Maybe not. Hecklerspray has bore witness to many popular celebrities over the years that have achieved something of a massive fall from grace, normally due to them earning vast amounts of money. Case in point - will anyone openly admit to liking Mike Myers (also in the top five rich list) any more? Thought not. Go back to the early/mid nineties and he was much-loved. This scientific theory doesn’t seem to apply to Will Smith though, and frankly it’s hurting our giant mind.

Maybe it’ll have to be something drastic, like threatening his mum and sister (allegedly), or… errm… getting pregnant underage…

Wow - this horse really is easy to flog when it’s dead!