Martin Scorsese and his eyebrows are likely to be reeling with excitement.
After winning the Directors Guild Award (for the love of all that is just and holy… how many award ceremonies are there?) for mob drama The Departed, people who have no part in the decision-making for the Academy Awards have sent the rumour wheel spinning by suggesting that Scorsese’s DGA-winning puts him in prime position to win the Academy Award. For once.
The Oscar is an honour that – as of yet – has escaped the grasp of our legendary friend. Not to rain on the overrated institution that is the Oscars parade, but this sounds like the perfect scenario for a classic Oscars upset where the long-shot nominee sweeps in and takes the little gold man right out of the deserving hands of the nominee slated to have their wildest dreams come true. Such a travesty is familiar to Martin Scorsese with past nominations for Gangs of New York, The Aviator and others that we are too impatient to research.
Why does Martin Scorsese traditionally get snubbed when it comes to the Oscars? Our theory is that it’s because he looks like the love child of Woody Allen and Peter Falk (oh, wait a sec… we were just informed that the biological rules of reproduction make that scenario highly improbable). Still, its curious how Oscar seems to have favourites that he taunts with praise and accolades over and over again, only to upset the hopefuls into crestfallen humiliation.
Our Scorsese is to the Oscars what Susan Lucci is to the soap opera awards. Both have made unfathomable contributions to their art, but are rarely recognised as top banana, making them punchline standards for late night show hosts and Saturday Night Live writers. We bet Marty and Susan would have a lot in common.
Still, you’d think with all his gangster movies Martin could round up a couple of ‘family men’ to pay a little visit to academy members. You know, some guy named Toothpick Tony who shows up on the judge’s doorstep and threatens him or her with bodily harm if they don’t vote for Scorsese and – just to prove he's serious – puts the judge’s teacup poodle, Bitsy, in a sleeper-hold until the poor innocent creature almost loses consciousness. What do you say, Marty? Oh, and we’d like to take a minute and share with all of you how adamant we are here at hecklerspray about not debasing our writing with stereotyping.
Read more:
Martin Scorsese Coming Closer To That Oscar – Playfuls
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Just give it to him, I say… at least that way I’ll have to stop reading “ooooh, poor Marty No-Oscar” every ten minutes
Perhaps he’s hanging out for the Lifetime Achievement Award? Isn’t he the guy that has an unhealthy interest in the acting ability of the little bloke, whatsisname? Leonardo Di Vinci?