Well, we knew that Tom Cruise would be tightening his belt after being shown the door by Paramount, but this is something else – he's now selling one of his daughter Suri Cruise's bronzed turds.
OK, that's not strictly true – Tom Cruise isn't actually selling the bronze Suri Cruise turd, and there's quite a strong chance that the bronze poo didn't actually belong to Suri Cruise in the first place. But that doesn't really matter – a bronze crap that purportedly dropped out of Suri Cruise's bum has gone on display in Brooklyn before it goes on sale on eBay. That's right – you could own one of Suri Cruise's bronze turds!
It's been a few months now since Tom Cruise told Katie Holmes to shut up and push out baby Suri Cruise, and so much has happened since then. Tom Cruise saved a couple from the wreckage of their car, Tom Cruise got the push from Paramount Pictures and nobody has seen Suri Cruise at all. Well, nobody except Penelope Cruz, David and Victoria Beckham and a few other hand-chosen disciples, anyway. Oh yeah, and someone has made a little bronze cast of a Suri Cruise turd, too.
Daniel Edwards – yes, the same Daniel Edwards who made the disgusting statue of Britney Spears pushing the crown of Sean Preston's head out of her vagina on all fours on a bearskin rug – has crafted a little Suri Cruise number two out of bronze and slapped it on display at the Capla Kesting gallery in Brooklyn. Why? Well, according to a spokesman:
"It's partially a statement on modern media that 'celebrity poop' has more entertainment value than health, famine or other critical issues facing society and governments today. Also, it is a statement on the absurdity of the media coverage surrounding Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' new baby, Suri Cruise, which has reached stellar proportions and is eclipsing far more notable events with more substance."
Also poo is hilarious, especially baby poo.
Weirdly enough, there's been no official comment on the Suri Cruise bronze turd from Tom Cruise yet – he's probably too busy wondering what to spend all that Redskins movie cash on – but that doesn't mean that the Suri Cruise bronze poo hasn't already made $5,100 in bids on eBay. Because, er, it has.
[story by Stuart Heritage]