We know that producers of The View wanted a gentler moderator after the Rosie O'Donnell saga, but we weren't expecting them to replace her with a singing nun – Whoopi Goldberg has been named as Rosie O'Donnell's replacement on The View.
This is exciting news for everyone – The View gets to maintain its mix of left-wing aggrandising and shrieking creationist right-wing nonsense, Whoopi Goldberg gets some high-profile daily employment and the viewers can get all excited about which Whoopi Goldberg gets to be on The View; the reactionary machine-gun comedian Whoopi Goldberg, the philosophical alien bartender off Star Trek Whoopi Goldberg or the Whoopi Goldberg who can make dead people do pottery. By Moses, it had better be the last one.
The View is a daytime television show where a variety of women bark their badly thought-out opinions at each other until it's time to go home, which is why it's so bemusing that The View makes so many headlines all the time. For example, Michelle Gayle from EastEnders this year joined the panel of Loose Women – the British version of The View – and nobody gave a chuff about it. That's possibly because Michelle Gayle hasn't been famous for so long that we doubt that she even knows who she is anymore, but this is a tangent and we'll stop.
There are a couple of reasons why The View is such a headline-grabbing show. Firstly, The View is the go-to show for celebrities who want to appeal directly to millions of bored housewives, like when Alec Baldwin tried to defend calling his daughter a 'rude thoughtless pig' or when Danny DeVito wanted to show everyone what he looks like when he drunkenly burps vomit up into his mouth. And the other reason, like it or not, is Rosie O'Donnell.
Rosie O'Donnell managed to reinvigorate The View by sheer force of personality – people either loved her or hated her. During her time on The View Rosie O'Donnell managed to call pretty much everyone homophobic, offend the world's most populated country and start a long-running feud with a monkey-haired billionaire. But then, after a ten-minute split-screen screechfest with the universe's most ill-informed halfwit, Rosie O'Donnell left The View to pursue a dual career of writing books about herself and not hosting any gameshows. That left The View in dire need of a replacement.
And now that replacement has been named. Ladies and gentlemen, the new moderator of The View is Whoopi Goldberg. ABC reports:
Today, Barbara Walters, "The View's" creator and executive producer, announced that Oscar-winning comedian Whoopi Goldberg would join the show after Labor Day as its moderator… "I have known Whoopi for years," Walters said in a statement today. "She is brilliant, funny and irrepressible, and is an enormously popular and talented star. We are delighted that she is going to join the program as our moderator. This is going to be a great new chapter for 'The View.'"
But what will Whoopi Goldberg be able to bring to The View? Well, Whoopi Goldberg is just as famed for her left-leaning, Bush-bashing ideologies as Rosie, so there'll be no shortage of tedious, overlong debates where everyone becomes so entrenched in their own opinion that nobody ever wins – The View's bread and butter – plus Whoopi Goldberg's gigantic list of showbusiness friends means that Robin Williams, Billy Crystal and Ted Danson will never be short of daytime female-orientated panel-show guest-spots ever again.
Needless to say it'll take time for Whoopi Goldberg to gel with the format and panellists on The View but, even if she's terrible, let's just be thankful that Victoria Beckham didn't get the job.