Who Wants To Know How Many Pubes Kim Kardashian Has Got?

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43635, LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA - Monday August 16, 2010. Kim Kardashian and Entourage star Adrian Grenier do a bit of shopping together while on Roberston Blvd. The pair, who arrived separately, talked to photographers while shopping along the trendy LA street. Photograph: David Tonnessen, PacificCoastNews.com

Historians will look back on this momentous occasion with awe and pride, you know. It’s Kim Kardashian.

She’s finally run out of things to say. Over the years Kim Kardashian has managed to eke out the sliver of D-list notoriety she gained by having it off with that bloke on the internet by talking about anything she could think of – her sisters, her friends, her ability to dance, her fondness for Justin Bieber – in the hope that one day it’d take and she’d become a real celebrity.

However, that well has now run dry. Kim Kardashian has somehow exhausted every topic of conversation available to her, and now she finds herself with nothing to say. But Kim Kardashian isn’t going down without a fight, which is why she’s just decided to reveal that she doesn’t have quite as much body hair as you possibly would have anticipated. Genius.

We know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “But why would Kim Kardashian bother to even discuss her lack of body hair? Surely anyone with access to the internet has already seen how much body hair she’s got, and also what face she pulls while she’s having sex, and also that she lacks the foresight to realise that filming yourself having sex probably isn’t the best long-term plan of action.”

And, yes, we’d have to agree with your long and surprisingly detailed thought. It doesn’t make a jot of sense for Kim Kardashian to barrel around bragging about her lack of body hair. That is at least until you realise that Kim Kardashian truly believes that if she stops talking about herself to magazines, she will literally cease to exist. In which case it does sort of make some sense. Sort of.

But we’ve kept you on tenterhooks for long enough. What, exactly, did Kim Kardashian say about her body hair? People reports:

“Anytime you see [my hair] in a ponytail, you know I did it,” Kim quips. And her head isn’t the only place that her raven hair seems to get in the way. “I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal!” she says. “Arms, bikini, legs, underarms…my entire body is hairless.”

Ta-daaa! Kim Kardashian’s entire body is hairless! Let’s just consider the repercussions of that, shall we? Kim Kardashian’s entirely hairless body means has ensured that she’s probably a lot less air-resistant than you. This means that if you ever fired Kim Kardashian out of a cannon, she’d probably achieve an impressive velocity before she slammed into the reinforced brick wall you’d deliberately pointed her at. That’s always good to know.

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