The Police Academy movies were from a simpler time – a time when a man could make a noise like a toaster with his mouth and people thought it was good.
Of course, times have moved on since then – but nobody tell Steve Guttenberg. Guttenberg has decided that he’s ready to make Police Academy 8, even though that would obviously be the worst idea that any human has ever had.
Oh, and also Steve Guttenberg says he’s making another Three Men And A Baby movie, too. And Steve Guttenberg has forgotten to take his medicine. And he needs a lie down.
Alright everyone, it’s time to stop this belated sequel madness. Sylvester Stallone returning to make Rocky Balboa was actually a fairly decent idea. Harrison Ford returning to make Indiana Jones 4 was a stupid idea. Arnold Schwarzenegger thinking about Predator 3 is beyond a stupid idea. Steven Seagal wanting to make Under Siege 3 is – well, actually Steven Seagal wanting to make Under Siege 3 is a brilliant idea, but only if it can be set in space like he wants.
But Steve Guttenberg wanting to make Police Academy 8? Why? What possible reason could there ever be on the face of the earth for that to happen? What, did Police Academy 7: Mission To Moscow leave any questions unanswered, other than the obvious ‘Why do I feel the compulsive urge to run home and scrub myself clean the second I’ve finished watching this?’
And yet Police Academy 8 is happening. Or at least it’s happening in Steve Guttenberg’s mind, which is slightly different to real life because in his mind Steve Guttenberg is still famous, people still care about anything Steve Guttenberg has to say and the national anthem of the entire planet is the full four-minute theme-tune to the Commodore 64 videogame adaptation of Short Circuit.
But, yes, Steve Guttenberg is really getting a script together for Police Academy 8. And it’ll reunite all the old gang, too – Steve Guttenberg, the man who makes the funny noises with his mouth, the short lady, the dead one with the guns, the unusually tall man, the sexy one with the big boobs who’ll be a pensioner by the time Police Academy 8 ever gets made – even the two actresses for which the Police Academy movies were an unfortunate blip on the path to bigger and better things, as Empire reports:
?We are doing a new movie and it is going to be great fun. A script is being written and so far it is really great, everyone from the original movies who is still around will return. I know Kim [Cattrall, who starred in the original] and Sharon [Stone, the love interest of Police Academy 4: Citizens On Patrol] have been asked but they haven't said yes yet. It would be really great to have them on board.?
They haven’t said yes yet? Is that because they were too busy shouting “Hey Guttenberg, I’m not going to tell you again! If you don’t get off my lawn immediately I’ll have you arrested! And put some clothes on, for crying out loud!”? Maybe we’ll never know.
As well as Police Academy 8, Steve Guttenberg seems convinced that he’s going to re-team with Ted Danson and Tom Selleck to make a third Three Men And A Baby movie too. But why stop there, Steve? Why not make a new Short Circuit movie where Johnny 5 starts a bloody turf war with a family of Honda Asimos? Or another Cocoon starring Jessica Tandy‘s corpse and the ghost of your film career? Huh? Huh, Steve? Huh?
lister says
Hehe, that Short Circuit sequel idea actually sounds pretty entertaining.
Curtis says
Yes, more Short Circuit! No more police academy.
And, by the way, that Commodore 64 theme song to Short Circuit is by DeBarge – “Who’s Johnny”…
*looks around sheepishly*
Its the scene where Johnny 5 is driving the catering van and cranks up the stereo.
Also, which is your favorite Back to the Future movie?
Modemac says
I thought Reno 911: The Movie WAS the next Police Academy movie.
And I suppose we could even suggest that WALL-E was a sequel to Short Circuit, except that it was a much better movie.
gir says
I suppose almost no one remembers (with good reason) but there already was a sequel to Short Circuit (Short Circuit 2: Short Circuiter). With the Indian/Pakistani weirdo from the first one. And Michael McKean.
And a ripoff of the Rambo “gearing up” scene starring a robot.
I saw it in its mercifully short theatrical run. Yes, it was every bit as bad as it sounds.
Ironlung says
i find it amusing they didnt get a real indian in. instead they got Mr The Plague from Hackers.
hes shit as indian and white. bless.
Ironlung says
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
johnny five got soul brother.
none says
If it looks good, I’d go see it. The first few where good when I was a kid.
Chris says
Were there really 7 Police Academy movies? Is that possible? I lost interest after the first one. But that dude who makes the noises was pretty funny.
Did you see this video from Funny or Die?
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/cfa7881384/guttenbergs-steak-house-from-steve-guttenberg-and-drew
godee says
fisher stevens… the great american acting ledgend.
id rather watch a movie where fisher stevens and paulie shore play brothers trying to save a sick uncle’s failing ice cream truck business.
frosty weasel with nuts? .. cone heads?.. wait a minute.
Police Academies says
Please no more sequels of Police Academy! Uncle, Mercy, whatever, just please stop the pain! I will give you up to #3…. But all good things die, and this died after 3… And they still kept going, and going, and going…
Sam says
I think there should definately be a POLICE ACADEMY 8. They should even make a recreation of the original.
Shinigami says
Hey, I would love a police academy 8! I can’t wait for it. And I know a lot of people that would love a new Police Academy. A new Short Cricuit would be great too… GO Steve Guttenberg! I think that Stuart Heritage is just trying to look intelligent by critisizing, and the movie is not even out yet. Stuart, you must be really unhappy in your life to have so much anger…
sue says
I must say that I didn’t know there were 7 already but an 8th would be great. I am looking forward to it. but for those of you who don’t like it maybe a new crew would draw your attention? Like maybe Jim Carrey, Vin Diesel, Sean William Scott, and Eddie Murphy. or any one who know how to make us laugh. I would go to see it and buy the DVD when it comes out to buy! Buying the whole box set this week of the complete set of Police Academies. Can’t wait to see it !
sue says
maybe also the Wilson Brother’s, Robin Williams, or how about the Wayans brother’s? just thought these were some great comedian actors who could give us some great laughs!
Hec says
The Police Academy Movies are such great film.An 8th film would not hurt since Guttenberg is directing it.I would definitly go see it in the theaters and buy the DVD or BluRay.
It’s definitly a great idea to ressurect this series.
kevin says
Actually Stuart, A lot of people do want a new police academy. By the way, that was a very bad article. People want the facts, not your opinion.
Alleychyer says
Police Academy: the new torrefaction…. it could be great. I want a new one since the deception in moscow.
the m says
Yes…… Yes do another one, do it like the first ones, the best of the series.
I want it to be shoot with a old 80’s camera for the feeling.
And you must do a 3D David Graf because…. well you know.
By the way, do you know if the same fish will play in the movie, because i really like this fish, so great acting, i din’t find any information on him he is not credited in the movies.
jamie says
police academy is good i am a police to my police No is
1245 i love police academy my name is jamie i love all of
you love jamie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mes St-ciboire says
Yes i want it, not you? Just go watch sisterhood of the traveling pant 2, me, i will watch Police Academy 8.
Ed says
Leave Stevo alone – go for it Steve Guttenberg – I’ll match Police Accademy 8!! – They’re all good family fun – and would still have a decent following.
Rakeem says
Police Academy 8 will be good. Every one likes police academy movies because there funny.
Man of different voices says
Bring on Short Circuit 3 [ Johnny 5 “More Input” ] and YES PLEASE BRING
POLICE ACADEMY 8, as long as Mahony, Jones, Tackleberry, etc… are in it; would be awesome
[ Not being rude, ] but to those of you who are saying NO to Police Academy 8, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all, cause there maybe heaps of other people out there that love watching the Police Academy movies.
H says
? want more police academy
Jessica Brown says
WON’T YOU SHUT-UP, FREAKING IDIOTS????
Who put you in charge of judging the Police Academy series??? HUH?!
I think it is the time for you dirt bags to make a stop at :The Blue Oyster” and work your ass off…..Got it?????