When the words ‘sex’ and ‘tape’ collide, you tend to quite quickly get people’s attention. Throw in the word ‘celebrity’ and everyone’s hooked.

And when we heard that another sex tape featuring a celebrity had surfaced, we got ready to squint at the pixelated shagfest – except one of the core ingredients that makes up a sex tape was missing.

The vital thing for a celebrity sex tape is er… a celebrity. Sadly, rejected reality show contestants who model themselves on rubbish pouty pop stars don’t count. Besides, anyone living in the UK will have already seen Chanelle from Big Brother’s tits in most copies of the Daily Star, Daily Sport or Nuts/Zoo magazine. But that hasn’t stopped Chanelle from making the least convincing sex tape in the history of the world. Yes, it’s after the jump…