What’s The Deal With Tila Tequila?

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Tila Tequila MySpace single I Love U Record Label Will.I.AmIt's not so difficult being big on the internet – all you need is to wiggle your boobs around and look vaguely available to nerds. Abi Titmuss has done it, Paris Hilton has done it and now Tila Tequila is doing it all over the place with her MySpace page.

For the uninitiated, Tila Tequila Nguyen is a sweary little Asian American model in a bra who shouts "Love me!" a lot and sings songs while sort of writhing around a chair a bit. This alone has made Tila Tequila the most popular person on the whole of MySpace – and now Tila Tequila is trying to break into the music business too. Only being the feisty little rebel she is, Tila Tequila is doing it completely by herself. Completely. Except for the bit where she got giant global production company Endemol to help her out. And the bit where she got represented by the talent agency in charge of Harrison Ford and Johnny Depp. And the bit where she's included on the roster of the Universal Music Group's MySpace page. Those aside, Tila Tequila is doing this completely by herself.

We can't help being a little bit suspicious of MySpace, you know. Sure, we manage to find the occasional nugget with our weekly MySpace Trawl feature, but there sure are a lot of nobsacks out there whose sole purpose on the planet is to make you cry in pubs by never shutting up about how many MySpace friends they've got. We imagine that if we ever met Tila Tequila, this is exactly what she'd do to us, too, after she'd showed us her tits and then painstakingly explained why doing that made her a rebel, of course. Tila Tequila's MySpace page has had over half a billion views, and she's got 1.7 million friends. Excluding the 1.69 million that's made up of lonely boys hoping to see her nipples, that's pretty good going.

And now Tila Tequila wants to transfer this success to the music business with a new single called I Love U. Musically, there's not a great deal separating I Love U from that other great MySpace success story I Fucked Alec Baldwin In His Ass by Colin Farrell's Crazed Stalker, but it looks like Tila Tequila might make a go of it; partly because she's half Suicide Girl, half lonelygirl15 and half Jessica Simpson, and partly because she's so determined to operate outside of the music industry that she's prone to screaming fits of hyperbole like this on the Tila Tequila MySpace blog:

WILL YOU JOIN THE BATTLE????
The future of the music business is being re-written – NOW. Have you ever had the power to make a massive change? Start a war; stop a war; forge a new path; break down old barriers? Have you, a friend, a neighbor, or even someone you don't like, struggled for years to achieve a dream that a few people control the outcome of, and they tell you that you can't do it? If 99¢ was a step toward changing all that, would you spend it? …

Tila Tequila turned down two record deals, believing that having absolute control over the kind of music she released and how she was portrayed was more important than being part of the system. She's done it all on her own up to this point, so why not continue? Tila has recorded music, picked a single, shot a video, and is set to release everything WITHOUT the help of a label. She is convinced that she knows what her fans want, not some corporate A&R guy at that multibillion dollar company, watching their bottom line. It's about music. And freedom. 

Yeah! Freedom! Revolution! Woo! Have you ever had the power to start a war? Stop a war? No? Us neither, so let's all buy a shitty single by an annoying attention spaz like Tila Tequila and hope it'll make do instead.

But if that wasn't bad enough, all of Tila Tequila's "I'm going it alone to beat the system!" shtick starts to look a bit strange when you consider that she signed with Endemol to make the video to I Love U, signed with music company INgrooves to distribute it and recently joined the ranks of the United Talent Agency for all areas of her representation. Worse still, Will.i.am – he of the Michael Jackson comeback album and the group with the incontinent girl in it announced on MTV TRL last April that Tila Tequila had signed to his Will.i.am Music Group, part of A&M Records. Although Tila Tequila isn't listed as part of Will.i.am's roster at the moment, she is listed on the roster on the A&M MySpace page, which is fishy to say the least.

We've seen this kind of MySpace trickery in the past, of course. When Arctic Monkeys first made it big, it was claimed that the band's strong grass-roots MySpace support was the key, even though the group themselves admitted they didn't really know what MySpace was, and Lily Allen's success was said to be down to MySpace, even though her Dad was in Shallow Grave, she used to live with Harry Enfield and she was possibly offered a job as a Sugababe once. When you make friends on the internet, it creates a false sense of camaraderie to trade off. We know this more than anyone – just ask any of our 18 Russian brides.

So are Tila Tequila's 1.7 million MySpace friends being sold a lie by a big music company? Could be – we've yet to be given proof otherwise. But then you have to ask yourself, does it matter about 1.7 million people being tricked if they're being tricked into liking shit like this?

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Tila Tequila MySpace Page  

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Comments

  1. Max A Million says

    God that woman annoys me. Hasn’t her single dropped in and out of the iTunes chart already? She’s the Snakes On A Plane of internet singers.

  2. Shiver says

    Absolutely not. Trick them all you want. Matter of fact, trick them all onto the edge of a high cliff and give ‘em a push, would you?

  3. Amelie says

    Exactly as stupid as the name. I do not like such things and it is worth it. There exist really decent pop artists Always search the web for cool music bollywood music is a site where one can compile perfect playlists. A cushy spot for a music addict!

  4. says

    she SUCKS its scary how fuckin dumb people are. they judge people for how they look. this is not modeling this is music. Talented artists like myself find it hard to deal with IDIOTS who have no fucking EARS. !!!
    myspace.com/mcjahjah
    a real rapper a real artist. fuck tila, ill fuck her ass up she aint a rapper shes a HO
    TRY SOMETHING TOTALLY NEW!!
    I AM NOT A GIMMICK
    I WRITE MY OWN LYRICS

  5. Emma says

    Yes, she’s pretty – but it makes me SICK when ppl like her are famous for NO TALENT WHATSOEVER.

    Using sex, body and looks to get everywhere in life disgusts me.

    *BARF.

  6. Caleb1988 says

    Why in the hell is that little girl with the bobble head on T.V.? I tried my best to watch that damn show but gave up. She’s ugly as hell. Just about as bad a that damn New York ugly bitch. Who in the hell would want either one. Damn, I thought tha damn fool with the clock was bad enough.

    No wonder our kids are crazy!!!!!!!!!

    Tell her to go to a head shrinker or chop her ugly ass head of.

    When VH1 & MTV came on it was for music, no circus freaks!!!!!!!! I hate like hell I lobbied in my home town to get them back.

    I may just turn to the evanglist. At least they are funny. Laughing at them is entertaining.

    Get that freak back where she came from.

    There’s your reason for men to slap women!!!!!!!!!

    I pity the fools that are trying so hard to be on T.V. that they have to submit themselves to this degrading exhibition.

    Have they heard of Survivor, Big Brother or The amazing Race?

    So Sad for our youth!!!!

  7. Caleb1988 says

    I didn’t mean that’s a reason for men to slap women, there’s never a reason. New York and this NO TALENT bitch would maybe give a man a reason to want to slap her into reality.

    She’s ugly as hell.

    These poor fools on these shows are as SAD as they are.

    Tell the clock dude to enjoy his!!!!!!!!! Damn I wish I was ugly and nasty!!!!!!

  8. Drolkin says

    Wow, she doesn’t have any talent but I tell a lot of you must be bitter, ugly people who hate on those who get ahead in life thanks to their looks. Suck it up, thats the way it is, but don’t go acting like scumbags because of it, geeze.

    As for Tila, nobody really knows who she is except for a pretty face who got lucky, she isn’t anything special, any one of those asian myspace girls could’ve been chosen to do what she’s doing.

    It really is sad though that people really believe this girl Tila, got to where she was on her own etc.(and I don’t mean that her fans made it happen BS either, lol).

    But the girl is definitly scum herself, anyone who asssosicates themselves with reality TV douchebag CEOs is worthless. It’s not enough she has to do the same old “sex sells” routine with a spice of eastern girl look, but she makes money by ruining other people’s lives, like some of the people on her rundown show.

    And to me you parents shouldn’t be blaming people like Tila for why kids are retards, it’s partly their fault/parents fault, but also the fault of people like MTV/Much Music they know very well that what they put on their channel, kiddies will copy and follow.

  9. says

    Why is it that all you need to do is being a slut and a whore to get famous and your own show these days? Meanwhile, all the thousands of amazing musicians, painters, writiers, and actors get no damn recognition. I guess I should have spent my years being a bisexual slut that will fuck anything.

  10. Anonymous says

    I am ashamed of Tila because I’m a 26-yr old vietnamese woman. And honestly she’s not attractive and even more unattractive because of the road she’s taking in order to obtain her goals. It’s easier to live life without a conscience than to actually have respect for yourself and others. I’m disgusted.

  11. Darrin Gindratt says

    Why would anybody fall into her trap,because she is nothing but trash. She is not all that & she’s not that hot. The only people that fall for her crap are people that belong on the short yellow bus of life. I don’t she how she got a tv show, because that show is shitty as hell & it makes me want to give up tv. well if crap is what the public wants then to each his or her own,as for me i will not fall for this crap.

  12. says

    TILA TEQULIA IS A VILLIAN VAMPIRE.

    What if Tila Tequlia play an evil vampire queen in the episode of Moonlight when she fights against Mick St John.
    I think Tila will be straight in real life as she will be married in her 30′s.
    I’m not really into Tila Tequila but she can play some villian roles in films and TV shows
    something like Darkstalkers for change.
    This is just what I think in the future like Darkstalkers TV series or something like
    Heroes and some shows based on comic books.
    Tila Tequila would make a good vampire villian for any TV shows just for an idea.
    Thank you.
    BRUCE ACOSTA
    AUSTRALIA.

  13. Shay says

    kay, tila is a good singer & you can shove all those hatefull comments up your asses because you know you’re all just jelous, you’d like to think that she’s hideous & has no talent to make your shitty talent-less lives seem less fucking LAME !
    & yes it’s pretty obvious that her show is all set up but who gives a shit !? she’s getting her fame & her money through that show & who are you to critique the way she wants to live her life ? YOU DON’T SEE HER COMMENTING ON WEBSITES SAYING SHIT ABOUT YOU, DO YOU ? NO, so you should all really show some fucking respect & stop being fucking dicks because when you look up who’s on top ? HER. NOT YOU & she’s on top for a fucking reason so untill you have the right to say shit i’d fuck off !

  14. Shaysux says

    We can chose who we show respect to around here and it’s certainly not some hollow shell like that demon. She’s on top because the music industry is a cloudy, unfair bitch of an entity. There’s no good reason!

    You really like her music/image?

    It’s everything wrong with the entertainment industry rolled into one stanky-ass egg roll.

    You probably like the Jonas Brothers and that little cunt Miley whatever.

  15. Tila Hater says

    That no talent asian whore I wish she would drop dead, I mean really what is her claim to fame? aside from just being a piece of ass and a My Space whore, I guess it goes to show anybody with big tits and eye candy to guys can make a splash.

  16. eLenaLicious says

    Gosh, finally a group of people that make sense! I know this is a late ass reply but finally I have found a group of people that see the fucking light! God, I love all you guys! All the rest of those dumb people especially old creepy or young and immateur guys thinks she’s all hot and her boobs are so big but u know wut-they fake! wut the fuck kinda 5 foot (or less) tall ASIAN beotch has double D cups? I mean are u guys fucking retarded or what? And she can’t sing honestly. Her voice squeaks and cracks and all she sings about is sex and parties and getting high and fucked. When she DOES sing about love, she don’t know what she talking about cuz she don’t know what the fuck love is just cuz she got her own retarded match maker show which was horrible by the way. She wouldn’t know what love is if it bitch slapped her across the face! (which I hope it does cuz she deserves a nice big old black country styles slap from aunt Jemima or whatevers!) she’s a disgrace to Asian women and she’s making all these dumb ass American men think that all Asian women are whores! So thank you very much Tila~~I thought Asians were supposed to be smart. Don’t even call yourself Asian cuz you’re putting a disgrace onto the Asian name although there are have been and still are Asian hookers and hoes out there. You just finalized and publicated it.

  17. TNS says

    SHE! IS SUCH A DISGRACE TO THE VIETNAMESE COMMUNITY!!! I FEEL ASHAMED WHEN I HEAR NEWS ABOUT THIS USELESS PERSON, especially when it comes with the surname ‘Nguyen’. TSK TSK. TILA, get a real job!!! Every reasonable person knows shes not going to last long if shes going the way shes going right now. Just give her a few more years. She’ll start to fall into back into the hole shes trying to crawl herself out of. OVERALL, TILA T is one DISGRACE TO THE WHOLE VIETNAMESE COMMUNITY, not only to the ones in America. But other countries too! SHE is not the kind of image we would want to have OUR kids growing into.

  18. Zombie says

    What up dog, bitch, puke? This barf-bag is a tragic piece of shit that should be ground up, processed and flushed out to see! You too I guess!

  19. Zombie says

    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha….. whachusay? She on top the Jerry Springer Shit Pile!!!! Yo Bitch, need to shut the fuck up! Or cum over and suck my dick!!

  20. Jared says

    Why is it always the ones who can’t SPELL, are the ones defending the dumb skank….. LOL

    Mirrors reflection…… LMAO

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