What Will David Blaine Do Next?

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May 3rd, 2006 at 14:00 by C J Davies

david blaine magic man stuntAs we're sure you're aware by now (unless you pay more attention to those pesky things like 'jobs', 'girlfriends' or 'general social interaction') silly magic-man David Blaine has launched his new stunt in New York.

Blaine's taking part in something called Drowned Alive, in which:

"The 33-year-old lowered himself into a 2.5m (8ft) acrylic sphere filled with water at the Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts."

Breathing via a mask and eating via a tube, this is the most high profile thing that silly magic-man David Blaine has done since he sat in a box near a bridge and got burgers thrown at him by shambling City Boy pissheads.

Silly magic-man David Blaine will be rounding off the watery stunt by trying to set a new record for holding his breath underwater. This presently stands at eight minutes, 58 seconds. A tough feat in itself… especially when you consider that silly magic-man David Blaine has insisted on being bound and shackled at the same time.

Will silly magic-man David Blaine survive this ordeal? hecklerspray doesn't really care, to be honest. We've all got short attention spans, you see, and grew bored of his silly magic-man antics about 45 seconds after this ludicrous 'experiment' began.

Instead, we're always on the lookout for the next big thing. We want to see what sort of TV special silly magic-man David Blaine is planning next. And - thanks to this list we pilfered from a TV network litter bin - we can give you an exclusive sneak preview of silly magic-man David Blaine's possible next moves …

MEMO: POSSIBLE DAVID BLAINE TV SPECIALS

- David Blaine's All-Action Pig-Molesting Fortnight

- David Blaine: A Month In Grimsby

- The World's Longest Wedgie: A David Blaine Illusionment

- Blaine: A Week Without Self-Promotion

- David Makes Sense

- Blaine And The Spider-Rottweilers: A Genetic Experience

- Can't Be Arsed: A Collection Of Card Tricks

- David Vs. The Steamroller - A Week-long Crushfest

- David Fucks Off

We're particularly looking forward to the last one.

Read More:

Blaine's Underwater Stunt Begins - BBC

[story by C J Davies] 

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