What, in your opinion is the worst-ever Disney cartoon? Think hard, you've got a lot to choose from. The Adventures Of Ichabod And Mr Toad? The Black Cauldron? Basil The Great Mouse Detective? Brother Bear?
Look, you're all wrong. Easily the worst cartoon that Disney has ever made is Mulan. Mulan is painful wartime history starring a bunch of Happy Meal toys, a lazily blatant cash-in of the success of Pocahontas and a really, really boring film. So it goes without saying that The Weinstein Company has just signed up Memoirs Of A Geisha star Ziyi Zhang to star in a brand new live-action version of Mulan. That's crazy! What next, a Ziyi Zhang-starring remake of The Seven Samurai? Well, yes actually.
We thought that, after Bewitched and Bad News Bears and Charlie And The Chocolate Factory and The Fog and Fun With Dick And Jane and King Kong, everyone would be completely sick of movie remakes. But tell that to the Weinstein Brothers – it's movie remake a-go-go round their way. But – here's the twist – they're doing it Chinese-style.
The Weinstein Company has just signed a three-picture deal with Ziyi Zhang, last seen boring the arse of audiences in Memoirs Of A Geisha, and the first film they all want to make together is a live-action remake of Disney cartoon and 227th biggest film ever Mulan. Mulan is the story of a girl who goes to war against the Huns dressed up as a boy, with just a small red hilarious dragon with the voice of Eddie Murphy and a Christina Aguilera soundtrack to help her. The hilarious cartoon has presumably not been cast in the Ziyi Zhang version of Mulan.
We're being a bit unfair on Mulan – it didn't start off as a rubbish Disney cartoon. In fact, it was an ancient Chinese folk tale first, then a 1956 Chinese film, and then a crappy Disney cartoon. The new Weinstein version of Mulan will in fact be written by Wang Hui-ling, and he wrote Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, so perhaps there's some hope for Mulan yet.
And we weren't kidding about the Ziyi Zhang Seven Samurai remake, either, but we'll tell you about that in good time.
Read more:
Ziyi Zhang is the live-action Mulan – Comingsoon
[story by Stuart Heritage]
christina says
i loved mulan! most of disney’s stuff is romanticized (like pocahontas) but i thought the music was great and it was funny