Anyone with half a brain knew that Watchmen would open at number big in the weekend box office last week.

The real question, though – the question that could potentially lead to other beloved comicbooks being adapted into spectacular big-budget movies – was whether Watchmen could keep the weekend box office number one spot.

It can’t. Almost 70% fewer people saw Watchmen this weekend. So there’ll be less movies like Watchmen in the future, and more like Race To Witch Mountain. Bad news for serious geeks, but great news for creepy, perpetually adolescent geeks.

Race To Witch Mountain is the US weekend box office number one, soundly beating Watchmen into third place despite causing noticeably fewer comicbook geeks to foam at the mouth in anticipation.

And here’s why - Race To Witch Mountain actually looks good. It’s a zippy, action-packed movie starring a wise-cracking taxi driver and a couple of smart-mouthed kids who can move stuff about with their minds. We can’t speak for everyone, but we’re really looking forward to seeing Race To Witch Mountain. Admittedly we’re looking forward to seeing Race To Witch Mountain on ITV on a drizzly Bank Holiday Monday in the year 2038 because we’re buggered if we’re actually going to pay to see it, but whatever. Here’s the weekend box office top five…

1 - Race To Witch Mountain (Have you noticed that The Rock has gone from The Rock to Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson straight to plain old Dwayne Johnson? What a spoilsport! He totally missed out the stages where he had to be called Dwayne ‘Rocky’ Johnson, The Artist Formerly Known As The Rock, Rock-Rock, Drock Drockson, Thaynejohnsock, Little Bobby Johnnyrocks and Flarg The Indefensible. Disappointing) $25,000,000

2 – Watchmen (Oh well, so Watchmen was ultimately a Snakes On A Plane-style mistake where the online buzz built up by a painstaking promotional campaign couldn’t hope to sustain public interest once it was released. Never mind, geeks – at least there was one movie where a woman in a lycra jumpsuit got nearly-raped. That has to count for something, right?) $18,070,000

3 - The Last House On The Left (We completely understand why The Last House On The Left is a horror film. On our street, the last house on the left belongs to a couple of weirdos. We think they might be foreign. Scary!) $14,658,000

4 - Taken (We don’t know why Taken is such a weekend box office hit, you know – that little girl deserved to be kidnapped and forced into the human trafficking trade. She was following U2’s European tour, for crying out loud! That’s a fitting punishment!) $6,650,000

5 - Madea Goes To Jail (Similarly, we don’t know why Madea Goes To Jail is such a weekend box office hit. Honestly, it looks rubbish) $5,130,000

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