Good old Tyler Perry. There genuinely isn’t a traditional box office lull that he isn’t ready to plug with one of his awful films.

This time it’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself. Or, to be more accurate, Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself. He adds his name to everything you see, just so audiences can be certain that they’re watching genuine Tyler Perry mawkish, unfunny, boring, Chicken Soup For The Soul-esque dreary codswallop instead of an inferior imitation.

Anyway, that’s the weekend box office number one. So it’s true – there really are that many idiots in America.

So Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself is the number one movie at the weekend box office. Which means that when it’s released in the UK it’ll… oh, hang on, no. It won’t be released in the UK, will it? Because if there’s one thing we don’t need it’s a hopelessly preachy sermon about the power of the family delivered by an unusually tall man dressed up like a fat old lady. No, we like our drag queens a little different over here. They need to be more sophisticated, more overtly ridiculous. More married to David Beckham.

Here’s the US weekend box office top five…

1 – Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself (Working title: Tyler Perry Presents Tyler Perry And The Tyler Perry Players In Tyler Perry Can Do Bad All By Himself Starring Tyler Perry, A ‘Tyler Perry Clearly Has A Disturbing Ego Problem And Should Be Professionally Halted As Soon As Possible’ Production) $24,030,000

2 - 9 (That’s 9. Not to be confused with Nine. Or The Nines. Or District 9. Or Nine Months. Or Nine 1/2 Weeks. Or Nine To Five. Or Nine Songs. Or Nine Lives. Or The Whole Nine Yards. Or The 39 Steps. Or Shanghai Noon) $10,856,000

3 - Inglourious Basterds (It’s like Valkyrie with a better ending, they say, failing to note that the best possible ending that Valkyrie could have had was one that came about a millisecond after it began) $6,546,000

4 - All About Steve (Well done Sandra Bullock. Now you can’t do that old thing of turning your back on romantic comedies because you say you’ve mastered them. Because, quite blatantly, you haven’t) $5,800,000

5 - The Final Destination (That Krista Allen, she’s a sucker for 3D, isn’t she? Why, it only seems like yesterday that we saw her having sex with an alien on a spaceship in a 3D scene from one of her softcore Emmanuelle movies – now she’s getting her eye smashed out by a pebble in 3D too. She covers her bases, that one) $5,500,000

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