10 – Pretty girls gone funny-looking – Spike

9 – Damn you bureaucrats for wrecking French wine! – Slate

8 – Here’s a proper scary story that will give you the willies – Mountainsanatorium

7 – Remember Same Difference from X Factor? No? Too Late – Popjustice

6 – This Halloween, why not watch all the Saw movies in a row all night at the Imax, ending in Saw V? It’s the most depressing way you’ll ever come to resent mankind – Imax

5 – Name That Beer Label quiz – Namethatwhatever

4 – Sex education for youngsters! Hooray!

3 – Gwyneth Paltrow in a seven-minute Dennis Hopper film about handbags. Worse than even we give it credit for – AV Club

2 – Perez Hilton Vs Michael Lohan: the boxing match where everybody wins – New York Daily News

1 – New hecklerspray hero: One String Willy – I Am Bored