We heard of a woman once who was pregnant, and two weeks into her second trimester her doctor realised it was just with a cantaloupe she’d swallowed whole some months before. It sat idly in the belly because her stomach juices made it swell too big for her intestinal track.
Needless to say she delivered by cesarean and both mother and melon are doing well. The younger of the two is reportedly in kindergarten right now – and having considerable trouble learning to count.
We heard of another lady that once pooped out a handgun.
What we’re getting at here is if you’re a woman and you find your belly sick and swollen, you can never tell what’s inside you. Except for Angelina Jolie. She knows for a fact what’s in her – gender and all.
When you’re famous you get to be pregnant with all sorts of things – including robotronic cyborg pound puppies that just need a home and a reason to kill. Mark Hamill is said to have given birth to one of those in the late eighties – also by cesarean.
Usually though, celebrities only get pregnant with people-babies just like everyone else. Granted those babies have sometimes been known to be freakishly ugly, temperamental and vivacious, but sometimes they’re just twin girls like what Angelina Jolie’s got gut-cookin’ right now.
Oh – you read that right! We told you all ages ago she had a pair of something stewing inside her – but the knowledge that its girls is apparently brand new. Specific names for the two haven’t been released yet, but it’s commonly thought the primary concern is that they look good printed on-screen for Rock of Love season 20. Reasonably so.
Star Magazine says of everything:
“Angelina and Brad will be adding two more girls to their growing family when Angie gives birth in July, Star has learned exclusively. And they are ecstatic at the news that they are having twin daughters. “Brad can’t wait — he absolutely adores little girls.”
Rumour has it there’s a bit of concern for the babies’ health as Jolie fainted or something. Rumour also has it there’s some concern the twins might just be a big penis-less fart bubble.
Nobody will know for sure until July.