Oh America, how we love it when a few individuals from your nation conform to the stereotypes often associated with the entire country.

For two glorious presidential terms, the rest of the world realised that even people with special needs can be given the opportunity to be president. Oh how we laughed and secretly worried at George W Bush – just in case he did push the shiny red button marked ‘murder death kill rocket.’

Another pastime enjoyed by Americans is food. However, they don’t have notable chefs like in the UK. Where’s the mentalist American food scientist like Heston Blumenthal crafting a sauté from donkey hoofs and cow ears? They don’t even have someone Delia Smith who gets so pissed during their team’s football matches that they bollocks the crowd. Instead, in the land of heart attacks, clogged arteries and triple bypasses, food contests are common place. Unlike the humble UK bake-off, Americans see it as an honour to be awarded a trophy for binging on greasy grub.

What makes this whole American pastime eerily strange for pretty much anyone watching who isn’t a Yank is the insane crowd that has gathered to view the spectacle of potential choking unfold. How do Americans cope in public when chomping on a triple cheeseburger? Do hundreds of people gaze in amazement as the wrapper is unfolded and the first bite is taken? Flooding must be a common occurrence due to the drool flowing from quivering mouths.

Somehow, 181 chicken wings were consumed by a young porker called Sandra Thomas who amazingly knocked them back in twelve minutes. Unless she has no teeth and the ability to suck items down her gullet, we’re not sure how this was physically possible. So how, exactly, do 181 fried chicken wings break down nutritionally? Well fact fans, cbsnews.com does all of that for us:

“If the wings are large and whole, Thomas consumed, in 12 minutes, about 4,583 calories – that’s more than two days worth of energy an average person needs. And that’s not counting the sauce. Her liver is trying to figure out what to do with about 198.7 grams of fat, 54 g of which is saturated. Experts say we should consume just 65-85 grams per day, with only 20 grams being of the saturated variety.”

Call the Brazilian government if you’re a relative of Sandra Thomas and have happened to stumble across this. A few acres of the rainforest might be needed for the coffin needed to be constructed around her. She won’t be fitting in any crematorium oven

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