When Dustin Diamond isn’t making porn films or begging us for money so he can avoid being made homeless, he apparently gets 'proper' TV work too.

Well, we say 'proper' TV work; it’s more like cameo appearances or rubbish programmes that usually make the people in them look like sad pathetic losers. Exactly what the contestants of this year's Big Brother will find out when they come out the house and scrape the barrel for any hint of TV work. Screech is currently, or possibly was – we don’t quite know – on Celebrity Fat Bastard Fit Club and made the mistake of mouthing off to his trainer Harvey. No, not the bloke from So Solid Crew. Mouthing off to someone can often lead to dodgy consequences, but when you badmouth a big pissed off black man, it can get nasty. No punches were thrown, unfortunately, but watching someone get progressively angrier and angrier while using lots of naughty swearwords directed right at someone who had a profound influence on your childhood will at least kill two minutes of your life.