There’s no questioning Madonna’s ability to sell a record or two is there? There’s not much better than hearing ‘Into The Groove’ on a Friday night. Even some of her more recent work has sold a bucket load.
However, it’s elsewhere in life she seems utterly hopeless. She’s rubbish at having relationships and even worse at making films. That part of her CV doesn’t read well at all.
Still, that’s not stopping her from branching out! Weirdly, Madge and her manager Guy Oseary are in the process of opening of a fitness centre which they plan to go global.
You heard.
Madonna and some bloke are going into the business of health. That means, no doubt, a series of gyms that will be filled with stupid spiritual nonsense as well as machinery which will give you the body of a boiled camel and a more veins than a particularly angry erection.
The Material Girl (we’re legally obliged to call her that at least once in an article) is working away to bring the world Hard Candy Fitness, the first being in Mexico City.
And it’s not some poxy little room with dumbbells and an opened window to let the body odour out. Hell no. This is Madonna – Madonna likes to show off.
Hard Candy will be a 30,000 square foot venue which will open next month and she’ll be on hand for the grand opening, just so everyone can get a really good look at how horrifying overt exercise can look.
It is hoped that the venture will expand internationally with 10 more locations around the world.
Of course, should exercise fail, you could always get some nerd in thick rimmed spectacles to photoshop the living shit out of your face so that everyone thinks you look really great for your age.
Cookie Monster says
Now I know how beef jerky is made. Always wondered about that…