Look, it’s mainly the impractical dress thing, OK? She’s not exactly a superhero, is she? Honestly, you lot should really consider re-evaluating the level of personal investment you put into these people. It’s not doing you any good. So Lady Gaga can wear some uncomfortable-looking clothes and do a passable imitation of Madonna. So what? She’s just a person. What else has she ever done that’s so great? Huh?
Oh, actually she managed to stop a fight at one of her recent concerts by shouting at the audience and then sort of wiggling her bum around a bit. That’s sort of cool. If you like that sort of thing. There’s a video of it after the jump if you’re really that interested. You are? Oh, you people.
Having seen some of her music videos, it seems clear to how how Lady Gaga should break up a fight. She should either covertly poison the instigator to death like in the Telephone video, or she should copy the Alejandro video and just get a police to dress up in a bondage outfit and stand around forlornly while a bunch of men bum each other in the background.That would almost definitely stop most fights.
But just because Lady Gaga should stop fights like that, it doesn’t mean that she will. She could just as easily stop whichever song she’s performing halfway through, yell as hard as she can and then, somewhat ashamed that she’s just essentially screamed a variation of “LEAVE IT! HE’S NOT WORTH IT!” like a drunk girl at a wedding, ask people how sexy they think she is, wiggle her bottom about and fall over. That would also work.
And it did. This week in Washington, a fight broke out between two audience members at a Lady Gaga concert. Nobody knows what they fighting about – maybe one was obscuring the other’s view of Gaga’s crotch-bulge, or perhaps they couldn’t decide which of her songs sounded the most like an existing Madonna song – but it took Lady Gaga to put an end to it. Look…
See? See the positivity that Lady Gaga spreads? Her concerts are all about love and unity and happiness. And T-shirts. And lightning bolt make-up kits. And tour programmes that cost $75 a pop. And, to be honest, a lot of songs that all sound quite similar.
But, you know, mainly love and unity and happiness and shit like that.