This is the news we’ve waited our entire lives for – Vanessa Hudgens from High School Musical is going to be in Twilight 2!
Oh, OK, Vanessa Hudgens is only auditioning for one of the roles in Twilight 2. It’s as good as signed, though, especially since the second Twilight novel ends with everyone performing a mass singalong to a song entitled I Believe In You (Sexy Vampire Of My Heart).
Vanessa Hudgens’ Twilight signing also proves that, rather than promoting pre-martial abstinence, Twilight is really all about getting your tits and mimsy out on the internet. Hear that, Robert Pattinson? Your mimsy.
Twilight and High School Musical already have a lot in common, you know. For instance, they both share a creepily chaste pseudo-religious conservative worldview. And they both star lead actors who look like they’ve been moulded out of a single piece of plastic and then dipped head-first into a box marked ‘silly hair’. And, obviously, both High School Musical and Twilight are squarely aimed at people too young to properly know the difference between a good film and an awful one yet.
But it looks as though High School Musical and Twilight might share one more thing in common, too – they both star that girl who got naked on the internet that time. Sort of. According to reports, Vanessa Hudgens is hard at work auditioning for the role of Leah Clearwater – who’s either a sassy cheerleader who believes in the power of friendship or a werewolf. It’s not like we care about this enough to find out or anything. MTV reports:
“High School Musical” starlet Vanessa Hudgens has apparently taken the next step and auditioned for the role, according to “Twilight” actress Ashley Greene. We ran into Alice herself at a Golden Globes afterparty, and she told us she’d be happy to co-star with Hudgens. “I think she’d be great,” Greene enthused.
We, too, think that Vanessa Hudgens would be great for the Twilight family. After all, she’d have great chemistry with Robert Pattinson since she’s already going out with one simpering personality-vacuum as it is. Plus, everyone knows that the final Twilight book ends with a lesbian three-way between Leah Clearwater, Kristen Stewart and the lead singer of Paramore, and Vanessa Hudgens is already way ahead when it comes to vaguely hinting at lesbianism.
We have to say, though, that Vanessa Hudgens is being extremely savvy in picking her movie roles. First she stars in a bunch of films made for bright-eyed tweens who wear purity rings, and now she’s going to star in a bunch of films for very slightly older tweens who have decided that being bright-eyed is lame but still wear purity rings and paint their fingernails black because they saw it in an Avril Lavigne video once and thought it looked cool.
You see what she’s doing? Vanessa Hudgens is growing up with her audience. Once Twilight‘s audience grows up a little bit more and realises that Twilight is a bag of arses, we’re fully expecting Vanessa Hudgens to jump ship and make a movie that spoofs the stupidity of Twilight, and that should take the audience up to their late twenties. After that it’ll be 30 years of porn followed by a soul-destroying stint presenting informercials for second-hand caravans. Because that is what the audience will want. Trust us.
Erin says
That is the FUNNIEST thing I have read in a long time. Bring on the ‘slagging’ of Twilight!! P.S – Three-way? Really? LOL!! Funny sh*t.
Penelope says
I love you (whoever you are). Thank you for the simultaneous Vanessa Hudgens/twilight slams. You made my day.
rekki says
Acually Vanessa Hudgens has NOT auditioned for New Moon, her rep tells JustJaredJr.com.
The 20-year-old singer/actress reportedly auditioned for the Twilight sequel for the role of werewolf Leah Clearwater.
E says
I’m sorry you’re so bitter and have nothing better to do except hate on Twilight.
Joey says
this guy is horny!! there’s a subliminal message behind this article: forget purity, let’s get it on!!
norzarifah says
NO WAY!VANESSA HUDGENS SHOULD NOT BE IN TWILIGHT!
Julian Mentat says
I, for one, would like to see what happens to a mimsy when its owner turns into a werewolf.
Does it perhaps become completely bald?
ashley says
o this is lovely …. a disney whore on a great movie . ughhhh does anyone agree with me on this i am so sick of the disney whores stealing others people advantages, i mean is there no one else .. all i am saying is give a person a chance that never had it, she has alot of chances .
Beata says
Geez- what happened? -get up on the wrong side of the bed? Get the facts straight before shooting off nastygrams.
Curlyrella says
i think that vanessa hudgens in twilight 2 would be great,but naked pictures?uhhhhh
cyndi says
Just say “NO” to drugs AND Vanessa Hudgens!!
She should have been booted from Disney when those pics came out. Even my 12 year old (at the time they came out) was disgusted and hasn’t watched another HSM movie since!!
Twilight producers need to stick with the relatively unknown just like the 1st movie
Vanessa??…uck!!
StuFan#1 says
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Beata you are so totaly wrong of the mark on this one sonny girl. Yeah you can have you’re opinion on anything but don,t even go there if it is dissing Stuart Heritage ok! You are like I bet totaly obbssessed with so called “Twilight and” probably spend all day and all of the night lookin for websites and commennting on them and putting poeople down if they “diss” (look it up in a dictionairy biacth!!!)your oh soh precious Twilight or as I call it Twishite hahahahajajajajaja!!!!!!1 There are limits to everything yeah andin this case Stuart Heritage slagging off is it (the limit to this case).
angi says
I have just read that Vanessa Hugdens from High School Musical is thinking or has already auditioned for the New Moon as Leah Clearwater. I just don
cyndi says
She has a hard time portraying a simple teenage girl, she’s not a good enough actress to portray a shape shifter with a’tude like Leah’s. Besides, she’s not native American
cyndi says
Twishite?…any idea why this is supposed to be humorous??
Makes no sense or am I missing something?
Anyone?…
cyndi says
Speaking of limits StuFan#1, obviously you have reached yours when it comes to spelling. If you are going to call someone a name, at least spell it correctly!! ( Or as close to correct as you can get with slang)
Ever tried spell check? They also have these books for sale.don”t know it you”ve heard of it though…they’re called dictionaries!!
Tiffany says
The “silly hair” comment was halirious.
love twilight, but love these posts more.
Vanessa will make “twilight 2” crappier than it needs to be.
even though I see the truth in these posts, I still love rob pattinson and am still a hard core twilight fan.
Sarah says
*pat pat* it’s okay cyndi. now log off so your daughter can use the computer for her homework.
cyndi says
Actually Sarah, I am using my Blackberry so that my daughter can use the computer. But you know what, that was incredibly sweet of you to think of her!
*big smile as she reflects dreamily on the few acts of goodness rarely seen nowadays*
Mikayla says
That’s so mean. Twilight is a great movie, and an even greater series of books. Vanessa Hudgens didn’t even audition for it, and she actually would’ve make a good Leah. Maybe you should at least read all of twilight first.
cyndi says
dear, i have read all 4… 3 times!!! and she is still horrible, with or without reading the books!!!!!
andrea says
she need to go to school because this hollywoood saga fame thing is nnot for her its bull in my eyes she cant act people beside who wouldnt know how to be gabriella in hsm.Have bunch of naked pictures online that the director ortega can look at everyday will definetely bring your true talent as an actress oh yea dont forget to f zac the night he wants to your in ,and now your a star
POOPIE says
I HATE VANESSA ! SHE WILL RUIN TA ENTIRE FILMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I TELL YOU ! BOO SHES UGLY. I SHOULD BE LEAH, IM THE BEST ACTRESS OUT THERE.
YOU GUYS WILL CHEER FOR HER?!
I VOTE FOR DAKOTA FANNING ! WOOT WOOT WOOT.
OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUHHH.
many good,many good
amanda says
uhhhhhhh!i hate vanessa hudgens