V For Vendetta – a film apparently so bad that the man who created it wanted his name removed from it – has reached the top of the US weekend box office chart. Still, it has to be better than The Matrix, right?
The weekend box office success of V For Vendetta proves one of two things: 1) That America is a country of barely-suppressed revolutionaries eager to steal a glimpse of what happens when a maverick renegade takes his revenge on an aloof and uncaring totalitarian government, or 2) Dude, Natalie Portman! Do you think you get to see the outline of her nipples?
One or the other. Let that be a lesson, weekend box office nuts.
V For Vendetta is the top film in this week’s weekend box office – a
feat accomplished despite V For Vendetta getting across-the-board
cock-awful reviews (apart from blatant Matrix fanboys, naturally),
having the main character trapped behind a mask for the entirety of the
movie and the fact that one of the directors seems to genuinely have
turned into a woman while making it.
Still, weekend box office success is weekend box office success, and
perhaps the whole ‘character in a mask’ thing is a plus – he’s played
by Hugo Weaving (DVDs), meaning nobody gets to see his ridiculous eyes rolling
about in his head. Here’s the full US weekend box office top ten:
1 – V For Vendetta (V For Vendetta? V For Visappointing, more like.
Or V For Vis That Supposed To An English Accent, Natalie?) $26,135,000
2 – Failure To Launch (We’ve noticed that the more conditioner Sarah
Jessica Parker bungs in her hair during a film, the better it does.
Possibly because her shiny hair diverts attention from her great big horsey face,
but we’re digressing) $15,815,000
3 – The Shaggy Dog (A film we’re refusing to watch on the sole basis
that the movie poster gives us the freaking willies every time we see it) $13,624,000
4 – She’s The Man (A film about the bloke who directed V For Vendetta, for all we know) $11,012,000
5 – The Hills Have Eyes (No you idiot, you mean The Hills Have One ‘I’. Or The Hills Have ‘L’s) $8,080,000
6 – 16 Blocks (Statistically the 17th best film of the year) $4,740,000
7 – Eight Below (Proving that nothing sets the US weekend box office
on fire better than some dogs slowly freezing to death…) $4,191,000
8 – Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Family Reunion (…except men dressing up
as women and managing to be a little bit sexist and a bit racist at the
same time) $3,000,000
9 – The Pink Panther (We’ve had so much fun watching Beyonce doing
junkets for The Pink Panther and trying to weasel out of the fact that
she didn’t do any research into her role. Or has never seen the
original Pink Panther movies. Or doesn’t know how the theme tune to the
cartoon goes) $2,500,000
10 – Aquamarine (Sort of like The Little Mermaid, but with the added
warm security of knowing that Peter Andre won’t murder a song
from the soundtrack) $2,025,000
Read more:
Weekend Box Office – Box Office Mojo
[story by Stuart Heritage]