US Weekend Box Office Chart - Stealth Has Flopped

Summer’s over.

It seems like Hollywood has shot its wad a little early this year. The summer blockbuster season started in May with the release of Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith, and almost every week since then has seen a huge explosion-filled enormo-flick come out to a roar of hype.

Now it seems that Hollywood has run out of steam. Last week’s big new release was The Island, but that’s already been deemed a flop. And this week’s big new film, Stealth, has flopped as well.

The kids have only just been let out of school for the summer, and what’s left for them to go and see? The Devil’s Rejects?

Here’s how the US Weekend Box Office chart looks this week…

1 - Wedding Crashers (Publicity says that Jane Seymour goes topless in this film. That’s a stinking lie) $20,475,000

2 - Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (Johnny Depp beats some children to death with a gateaux) $16,385,000

3 - Sky High (Kurt Russell? Super powers? Disney? It’s like The Strongest Man In The World all over again) $14,590,000

4 - Stealth (Ray Charles flies an aeroplane around and disappoints everyone) $13,500,000

5 - Must Love Dogs (The Most Generic Romantic Comedy Of All Time!!!) $13,050,000

6 - Fantastic Four (Luckily, the baddie already had the word Doom in
his his name, saving lots of time-consuming deed poll beaurocracy)
$6,800,000

7 - The Island (Michael Bay explodes an island, but nobody cares) $5,600,000

8 - War Of The Worlds ("You don’t know about ending films with big anti-climaxes, Matt. I do!") $5,435,000

9 - Bad News Bears ("Bad news, bears. The price of petrol is going to rise 27c a litre in South Africa on Wednesday") $5,425,000

10 - March Of The Penguins (A bunch of penguins marching. And that’s it) $4,131,000

[story by Stuart Heritage]