Now that Eurovision has come and gone and depressed all British people, it’s time to look for something else to bet on. Sadly, nothing’s quite as important as Eurovision, so we’ve settled on the next best thing.

That’s right, the US presidential elections. But we’re not going to bother ourselves with any of this ‘Who’ll win?’ malarkey – instead we’re focusing on what the next scandal to hit the candidates will be. None are likely to be as funny as Barack Obama’s kooky reverend, but if they happen and get confirmed by either Bloomberg, CNN or Fox, you’ll win. Profiting from other people’s misery – what could possibly be sweeter?

Here are the US election betting odds for a shop lifting scandal, with help from Paddy Power…

Shop Lifting – Of all the scandals that could hit the remaining Democratic and Republican presidential candidates next, shop lifting would probably be the most fun to witness. Sure,  shoplifting might not have the dire political implications of, say, campaign financing irregularity or the tabloid newsworthiness of an affair – but it is the funniest scandal, and that’s what’s important. But while a resurfacing scandal about a decades-old shop lifting incident would be funny – just to see a ruddy-faced newsagent accuse Barack Obama of swiping a comic book 30 years ago – it’s not what we want. Admit it – we want to see presidential candidate get caught shop lifting something now. We want to see CCTV footage of John McCain wandering into a supermarket in a big coat and stuffing it full of frozen chickens when the security guard has his back turned. We want to see Hillary Clinton claiming that she accidentally forgot to pay for the eight bottles of red wine that she shoved down her tights. Hand on heart, we’d vote for any candidate who habitually stole minor items from convenience stores just to see if they could. If we were American, that is. Current US Presidential election betting odds – 50/1

Tomorrow – DUI! But if that’s too long to wait – or you feel like making more money than you know what to do with – head right over to the Paddy Power US elections betting odds page to see the latest, and best, betting odds.