Any of you ever been in a Mexican prison? We haven't – but we know some people on the inside, and by all accounts it's a horrible place. All inmates have to wear black & white striped sombreros and they feed you dead chihuahuas wrapped in tortilla. Without salsa. It's a hard life.
That's a big part of why Duane 'Dog The Bounty Hunter' Chapman is sweating buckets right now. He embarrassed Mexico a while back, and now the whole lot of 'em would like to see him pay the price for entering their country under false pretence and hog-tying a serial rapist – with little to no concern for the natives' traditional day-time nap hour.
Thing is, US Congress won't let Mexico have him. Dog's most recent season ended in a real cliffhanger, you see, and Congress is eager to see it's resolution. Probably.
Duane Chapman, star of both A&E's hit show Dog The Bounty Hunter, and Hawaiian bail-jumpers' frequent nightmares, has 29 US Congressmen on his side. Mexico's trying to drag him by the ankles back to their dusty little country for illegally bounty hunting there back in 2003. At the time Chapman and some cohorts apprehended an American rapist who was hiding out south of the border. Congress sees what's going on though; Colorado Representative Tom Tancredo worded it this way in a letter to Condoleezza Rice:
"It seems that Mexican authorities are pressing this case only because they are so stung by the embarrassment of failing where Mr. Chapman succeeded."
The letter was signed by Tancredo and 28 other Congressmen. And the man Dog captured back then – he's currently serving 124 years in the American prison system – that's the equivalent of 312 years on the Mexican calendar.
Now all you Chapman supporters hear us out. Imagine the reality TV possibilities of an A&E show following Chapman's stint in the Mexican pen. It'd be just like his current show, but he wouldn't have to walk as far to jack-up a perp. He'd clear up gang fights with words of wisdom, and offer solace to little skinny guys after their families forget to send a care package for the second week in a
row.
A&E, we'd really like to talk.
Read more:
Congressmen call for protection of Duane 'Dog' Chapman – ABC
[story by Shawn Lindseth]
JBollocks says
I’m looking forward to the Congressional response to “Dog The Big Racist Bounty Hunter Way Too Racist For TV”
I’m betting on a deathly silence.
On another matter AG, IF you were referring to my rant, I don’t “hate America” I just get a little bit sick of the place and culture every now and then.
Compared to most of my neighours I’m a rabid USA lover!
I can tell you that every other vehicle around here has a “The US doesn’t speak for us!” or a “There’s a Bush behind every terrorist” sticker on it.
JBollocks says
Sorry for dropping that “b” in neighbor and putting that “u” in.
My wife, Dr K was saying “What’s up with you and the USA JBollocks?” and I told her about Dog the Bounty Hunter and his exploits in Mexico.
Dr K was outraged. She said, “What the f#%k! If an Australian, say Steve Irwin did that in the USA, the USA (* remove on legal advice —would bloody invade us—*) would talk very nicely to Australia and get Steve back and lock him up!”
I’m not so sure.
gir says
Actually I’m sure you’re wrong. At this very moment, the House and Senate are preparing responses to hecklerspray’s commentary on Dog the Bounty Hunter. A satirical blog reporting gossip about a basic cable reality TV show star just zoomed to the top of the Congressional agenda.
Or maybe they’re dicking around with shit like a children’s health care package that a worthless twat of a president won’t sign and taking Fridays off.
Yeah, that second one sounds more likely.
Adam Gade says
And here I was, looking for the response on the other article. Well, like I said earlier, Dog is a bad representative of us. Or any human for that matter. He wouldn’t know international law if it bit him. However, like any country, the U.S. is keen on protecting and supporting its citizens whatever the situation. The only difference is that it has a great deal of more clout, influence and attention directed at it. As a result, it gets its way more often, often at the loss-either economical or symbolic-of other countries.
You (JB) being, I assume, an Australian, have your own set of interesting political woes attached to the U.S. Your current PM seems to favor going against strong public opinion in support of the Iraq war. So you can assuredly understand a measure of the pain many Americans feel.
JBollocks says
Firstly, gir, are you watching me? Your astute observation re my intoxication level freaked me out a little.
I don’t think this incident is worthy of Congressional attention… Oh yeah, except that 29 Congress people put their names on a bit of paper saying “Dog is cool.”
Secondly, AG,
Without being too sycophantic your measured response is indicative of why I (& Dr K)do support the US. However, it’s sometime hard to see beyond the hyperbole of the media.
If you want to discuss “support of citizens” the Australian D Hicks (caught by US troops being a dickhead in Afghanistan) is a very interesting case.
On one hand we’ve had women dressing up in orange overalls sitting in cages saying “We want David Hicks back”, on the other hand, some people say that our PM by not getting D Hicks back has highlighted how poor the US is in international relationships. Although, I’m sure it was unintentional.
Anyway it’s too complicated to go into in this response…
So love from JBollocks, 42DegreesSouth and sinking.
ps I moved articles because this thread has a political overtone and I couldn’t realistically be accused of being “off thread”
gir says
Why yes I am. Thanks to the USA PATRIOT Act, I am allowed warrantless wiretaps and surveillance cameras of anyone in any country I choose. Of course, most of my efforts have been focused in Scandinavian women’s locker rooms and such, but I did find time to place a small X10 in your boudoir.
Wave to the camera!
Joseph says
You (the blog owner) are one stupid asshole. Why don’t you give dog a break you piece of shit.