Any of you ever been in a Mexican prison? We haven't – but we know some people on the inside, and by all accounts it's a horrible place. All inmates have to wear black & white striped sombreros and they feed you dead chihuahuas wrapped in tortilla. Without salsa. It's a hard life.
That's a big part of why Duane 'Dog The Bounty Hunter' Chapman is sweating buckets right now. He embarrassed Mexico a while back, and now the whole lot of 'em would like to see him pay the price for entering their country under false pretence and hog-tying a serial rapist – with little to no concern for the natives' traditional day-time nap hour.
Thing is, US Congress won't let Mexico have him. Dog's most recent season ended in a real cliffhanger, you see, and Congress is eager to see it's resolution. Probably.
Duane Chapman, star of both A&E's hit show Dog The Bounty Hunter, and Hawaiian bail-jumpers' frequent nightmares, has 29 US Congressmen on his side. Mexico's trying to drag him by the ankles back to their dusty little country for illegally bounty hunting there back in 2003. At the time Chapman and some cohorts apprehended an American rapist who was hiding out south of the border. Congress sees what's going on though; Colorado Representative Tom Tancredo worded it this way in a letter to Condoleezza Rice:
"It seems that Mexican authorities are pressing this case only because they are so stung by the embarrassment of failing where Mr. Chapman succeeded."
The letter was signed by Tancredo and 28 other Congressmen. And the man Dog captured back then – he's currently serving 124 years in the American prison system – that's the equivalent of 312 years on the Mexican calendar.
Now all you Chapman supporters hear us out. Imagine the reality TV possibilities of an A&E show following Chapman's stint in the Mexican pen. It'd be just like his current show, but he wouldn't have to walk as far to jack-up a perp. He'd clear up gang fights with words of wisdom, and offer solace to little skinny guys after their families forget to send a care package for the second week in a
A&E, we'd really like to talk.
[story by Shawn Lindseth]